Ever get frustrated because you can’t get the results you want? Maybe you’re going about it from the wrong direction.
Maybe when things aren’t going right, we need to stop and ask for help from the One who knows how all things work.
It might just save us from some pointless frustration.
Dear Frustrated One,
Why do you keep pushing me away when it’s my hand that holds what you want? I can see how hungry you are. I know what you want and I want to give it to you. But you are the one stopping me. All that hitting and flailing out prevents me from doing what we both want. I can keep battling your efforts to do it yourself but it would be so much easier if you would just relax and let me do for you what you can’t yet do for yourself. Oh, and those screams are not helping. Be still, Little One, and know I am here, ready to feed you as soon as you let me.
Always,
Someone who loves you
For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Ps 107:9
These letters have double meaning. On the surface they are letters I’m writing to my granddaughter. But they are also letters God is writing to you. Reread them, replacing the greeting with your own name, and the closure with God’s name – and get to know the great love God has for you!
With her new baby doing well in the Level Two nursery, Rachel should have been able to relax and concentrate on recovery from her c-section. However, her blood pressure just 
would not be controlled. Time after time, nurses would come in to check it. Rachel would feel relieved and hopeful when it was lower, but then get frustrated when it climbed back up. No one ever knew from reading to reading what it would be. Rachel grew to dread the readings, which only made it worse.
“It’ll come down,” the nurses would tell her. “Just give it time.”
After several days, Rachel wasn’t surprised to find her blood pressure medication was being changed yet again. Because she was attempting to breast feed, she couldn’t be on her pre-pregnancy medication which had worked well for her. And the doctors and nurses here at the hospital hadn’t found the right medication at the right dosage to bring about the same results. Her blood pressure continued to range from really low to dangerously high, with most being on the high side.
“Don’t worry,” they all told her. “We’ll get this worked out.” But how could she not worry? She knew the risks associated with high blood pressure. She began to practice zoning out each time they placed the cuff on her. She focused on nothing, breathing deep and slow, until the machine beeped. Then she’d look over at it, at first hopeful, but later with pessimism as her own attempt to help lower it failed.
She tried to keep her thoughts on other things. She didn’t like watching TV but she had her cell phone and lap top and lots of friends on-line. Her husband and parents stayed with her as long as they could. Her mom even slept in the room with her, providing someone to talk to and a distraction when needed. She tried pumping every three hours although her milk had not come in yet which gave her something else she could focus on. That one or two clear drops the machine managed to get from her were taken directly to the nurses each time by whoever was in the room because Rachel limited the number of times she got out of bed. She worried that moving around would raise her blood pressure even more, so she kept herself as still as she could.
“You need to walk,” her mom would tell her. “Walking might help lower your blood pressure.”
“You need to walk,” her dad would tell her. “Walking can’t hurt you and it might even help you.”
“You might want to walk,” her nurses told her. “If you’re up to it, you could walk a lap around the nurses work station. It will help you.”
But Rachel was never up to it. She wanted her blood pressure to come down first. She didn’t want a heart attack. However, she did give in eventually and started walking very short distances before asking for the wheelchair.
A couple more days went by. Nurses continued taking frequent blood pressure readings, Rachel continued to practice zoning out each time, her doctor sought the help of another doctor who had more experience with resistant high blood pressure, and many people were praying for her. The maternity ward just happened to be pretty empty so the nurses were able to spend a lot of time giving her personal care – reassuring and encouraging her throughout those long days and nights.
Yet nothing seemed to be working. As the numbers neared 200, her thoughts began to drift towards what might happen if they couldn’t get it down. She could have a stroke. She could die. And the words to a popular song that kept coming back to her didn’t help. “Help me want the Healer.more than the healing..”
Finally, in the middle of the fifth night, she could no longer hold it in and she began to cry. “I know God has a plan. But what if His plan is for me to die?”
“Don’t worry about that,” her mom tried to comfort her. “God will take care of you.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she cried harder. “It’s Aaron and the baby. What will it do to them?” She went into the bathroom and closed the door.
Her mom, at a loss for words, decided to turn on some worship music. Maybe filling the room with the presence of God through the music would help. She pulled up one of her favorite Christian radio stations on her lap top and set the volume to provide soft background music. Then she prayed. She knew the struggle her daughter was going through. Did her daughter’s deep faith and trust in God with everyday concerns extend towards trusting Him with her life, even if that meant leaving her husband and baby alone? Did she truly believe the words she said and sang so often?
Rachel emerged from the bathroom and got back into her bed. “I just had a thing with God and told Him my life was in His hands,” she told her mom. They talked a few more minutes, then got quiet as they focused on the music. Eventually both fell asleep.
The next day, the hospital specialist came to see her. She was put on a high dose of a second medication later that day, which began to have positive results. By the following day, her blood pressure was at an acceptable level and was no longer roller coasting up and down. She was not checked as often, and was soon taken off all monitors. And then came the best news of all – she was being discharged from the hospital!
While waiting for the discharge papers, Rachel and her mom talked about that night when Rachel broke.
“I think you passed that test,” her mom said.
“That was intense,” Rachel answered.
“I went through an intense test last week when I didn’t get to be here for the baby’s birth, but I’ve got to say, your test went to a much deeper level.”
“I hope I never get tested again,”
“I wish I could assure you that this was the final test, but I’m afraid there will be others.”
They both sighed, knowing it was true. As their faith continued to deepen and grow, there would be more tests, each time revealing their hearts and strengthening their relationship with God. But it was worth it. God was worth it.
By lunchtime, Rachel had signed the discharge papers and she was free. At the beginning of her pregnancy, her doctor had asked her what her goal was. “To walk out of the hospital” she had said. That afternoon, as she walked through the exit door, her goal was met.
But now she had a second goal. She might be free, but her baby was still in baby jail. Time to break her baby out!
To be continued one more time.
When she planned to leave town to visit some family members for a few days, she thought she had thought of everything she needed to bring.
clothes and other personal items
sewing business orders that needed to be finished
medicine
her smallest dog who doesn’t do so well without her
dog food, dog stroller, dog medicine, dog food
lap top
journal and calendar
sketch pad, color pencils
phone charger (which she had forgotten on her last trip)
and a few other things
She got to where she was going and settled in. Everything seemed great – until she sat down to write her new blog.
Opening Word on her laptop, she ignored the ‘enter key’ pop up like she always did (it did say it wasn’t necessary to register) and opened a new page. Only it wouldn’t open. She tried opening a previous page and planned to write the new blog at the bottom it. It opened, but it was locked and she wasn’t able to add anything. She tried opening a saved blog from her flash drive. Again it opened, but in a locked condition.
She hit the ‘help’ button to find out how to unlock a locked page.Trial? So she was using a trial version of Word all this time? And now the trial period was over?
Not now! She wasn’t at home to find that CD case with the key number. It would be days before she would be going home.
Besides, this was an old 2007 version of Word, and it probably wouldn’t work even if she found the key.
Fine, she thought. I’ll just write the blog directly on the web page. Which worked fine until she tried to upload a photo of her sketch to accompany her story. In order to edit her photo before uploading it to the web page, she needed photo manager, which was connected to Word, which she could no longer access.
“NOT NOW!” she wanted to scream. Not while I’m days away from going home! I can’t do a blog without Word!
Frustrated, she did the only thing she could do – go to bed and deal with the problem the next day.
And as she slept, God sang over her, bringing her peace.
The next morning, she got up to do her blog. No Word? No problem. She could find a way around it.
And she did.
Amazing the difference a little sleep and a little singing can do!
She prayed, “Lord, even though I’ve been walking with you for years now, I feel so spiritually immature. Can You help me mature a little bit more?”
Not hearing anything, she went to sleep.
The next day, everything went fine at work and she forgot about her prayer. But after work was a different story.
Stopping at Walmart, she couldn’t find most of the things on her list. It was made even worse because she had her two kids with her and they fought the entire time. Trying to rush, she grabbed what few things she could find and got in line to check out. It turned out the only line not moving was the hers. “Just my luck,” she thought angrily.
Finally getting home, she started dinner. Preparing muffins, she broke an egg only to have it squirt out all over her shirt. She managed to break the second egg into the muffin mix and put the mix in the oven, then went to change her shirt. When she got back, she found the muffins didn’t rise. More bad luck, she thought.
Frustrated, she took the kids to Pizza Hut, only to find that Pizza Hut wouldn’t honor the coupon she had. Of course they wouldn’t, she thought. Not with the luck I’m having today.
By the time she got back home and put the kids to bed she was so stressed and tired that all she could do was hide in her room and cry.
But then she remembered that God had said to come to Him when she was weary. And she had read that praising Him in the midst of trials was important. So she tried it. After some time, she began to feel better. Although still tired, the stress had left her. She picked up her Bible to read a little before bed and opened to James 1:2-4. ...trials produce perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature.
The words struck deep into her heart as she remembered her prayer from the night before. All that bad luck wasn’t luck after all. Amazingly, she had even asked for it.
“Lord,” she prayed with a smile. “Thank You for answering my prayer. I know it’s not over yet, and it’s definitely not the way I would have handled it, but I trust You know best. And thank You for being kind enough to wait until AFTER work to answer it!”
And when she fell asleep, she was still smiling.
It had been a long day. A very long day. And all day long, frustrated with things going wrong and the stress of so many people making demands on her, she had lashed out at Jesus.
“Why do You allow this to happen? Why won’t You do something about it? You’re all powerful, You could make things easier if You wanted. Is this how You take care of the people You love?”
Now that she was home, she was tired and wanted nothing more to do with anyone. Just let me be alone in peace, she thought, planning on going to bed early.
But then she remembered this was church night. Great. Should she skip church this night? Or go even though she really didn’t want to?
As she considered her choices, she decided what she needed most was Jesus to refill her. Since she found it easiest to open herself to Him during worship music, she went to church.
Once there, she sat in the least occupied area she could find hoping that everyone would leave her alone. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed, they would assume she was praying and not want to disturb her. She didn’t open them until the music started and was promptly disappointed to find out the music chosen for the service were songs she didn’t like. Just my luck, she thought. I should have stayed home.
Near the end of the service, she decided good music or not, she needed a touch from 
Jesus. So she closed her eyes and asked Jesus to totally fill her. She pictured herself kneeling in front of Him, not moving, not saying anything, just being in His presence. As she did, she began to feel lighter and lighter – like burdens were being taken off her shoulders. Enjoying the feeling, she didn’t want the service to end, but no one asked her and so it ended much too soon.
She was delighted to find that the feeling of lightness and peace went home with her. As she prepared for bed, she smelled something burning. Sniffing, she tracked it down to the fuse box. She called the landlord who came over to check it out.
“The hot water fuses shorted out,” he reported. “It’s a good thing you caught it. Too much longer and it most likely would have caught fire.”
After he left, she remembered that she had wanted to go to bed early. And if she had, there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have noticed the burning smell while she slept. She knew who was responsible for her catching it. And she thanked Him for not leaving her alone, for taking care of her even after all her ranting and raving that day. His unconditional love was truly amazing!
She was feeling down. Again. Seems she was always feeling down these days.
Her first year walking with Jesus had been amazing. Full of surprises and discoveries. This second year so far has not been like that. She seemed to be frequently plagued with self-doubts and confusion.
This latest doubt centered on the baptism experience everyone seemed to be talking about. The Holy Spirit baptism. One of incredible joy and power. Or so she had been told. She had yet to experience that for herself. She knew the drill. Ask for the baptism. Get someone to lay hands on her and pray along with her. Yield to the Holy Spirit. Then He comes in with all His glory. Or at least as much of it as humans can take.
She had done all that. Several times. She never felt any of the joy people spoke of. In fact, she never felt anything, and she didn’t feel any different now than before all those prayers. So, what was the problem? Certainly it couldn’t be with the Holy Spirit. It had to be with her. She must be defective somehow. So how could she be an effective witness for God if she was not even capable of receiving this baptism? And how could she pray or worship God if she was this defective? How could He even be even a little pleased with her when she was so broken?
She was desperate to talk to someone about this. To open up and share her doubts and feelings. But she was alone. She asked the Lord to bring someone into her life who she could discuss this with her, help her make sense of it all, but no one came.
So on this night, she went to bed with her thoughts and doubts and feelings swirling around in her head. As she thought about everything that had happened to her since her encounter with Jesus the year before, she fell asleep. When she awoke, she was surprised to find a pleasant feeling of relief had replaced the confused desperation of the night before. It was as if she had talked out her doubts and fears with someone while she slept.
“You did. With Me.” But she didn’t hear the quiet whisper as she prepared for the day.
A little while later, her eyes grew wide as she saw the rose one of her students was carrying. The rose was the biggest and prettiest she had ever seen. And it had just been handed to her! She was speechless!
In the past, in that first year of exciting experiences, many times after she had struggled between God and her doubts and had chosen to believe God, she would receive a gift from someone the next day. She had come to see those gifts as a pat on the back from God for making the right decision.
So she knew this amazing rose came from her amazing God! The student may have handed it to her, but she knew it was really God Himself handing her the rose. And in her spirit, she could hear Him say, “How can you say I am not pleased with you? You are my daughter! I am well pleased with you. You are OK just the way you are!”
She clenched her fists as she plopped down at her desk. Forcing her body to calm down, but not able to calm her heart, she looked up at the computer screen. A week before she had set a slide show of inspirational photos on her desktop to rotate randomly. And now, as her computer turned on, the first photo caught her attention.
BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD
Be still? With this storm raging in me? Fat chance. Know that He is God? Sure thing. He’s out there just being God and everything is wonderful. But wait, God is in me, too. So if He’s God over everything out there, then is He also God over everything in me? Including all this frustration that I’m feeling?
As she considered that idea, the photo on the screen changed.
I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS
Really? Even when I feel as prickly as a porcupine and don’t want anyone near me? Even when I just want to hit something? Even when I don’t even want to be here with myself?
So if He is here as He says He is, what is He doing? Frowning at me with disapproval? Shaking His head with disappointment in my lack of self control? Waiting for me to get over it so He can come close to me again?
With her head down, she asked Him, “God, what are You doing while You’re here with me, when I’m like this?”
“Stroking your hair. Waiting with you until the frustration feeling passes. Loving you.”
Marveling at this revelation, she looked back up at the screen.
I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS
“Still here?” she asked Him.
“I’m not going anywhere. I am always with you. Whether you feel it or not. Whether you want it or not. Even when you resist because you don’t feel worthy. Even when you get angry. Even when you forget.”
“OK, I get it. You’re always with me. So how can that help me? When I get like this, how does knowing You’re here help me? I’m still frustrated.
Or is that the wrong question?”
Again the photo changed.
GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEARTS
She chuckled. Well, not quite a chuckle but something close. God has a sense of humor, that’s for sure. Communicating with her through these random photos? Maybe not so random after all. And she loved that He could always cut to the chase while making her smile.
“OK, so You’re greater than my heart. Greater than all the mixed emotions in there. I don’t have to worry when I can’t control my heart, my feelings, because You can. I can rest that You’ll take me through these feelings and I won’t get lost in them and have to live there forever. Yes, that was the wrong question. Focusing on me – how does that help ME, how am I feeling – doesn’t help. Focusing on You – Your power and presence – gives me peace.”
The photo changed to a sunrise in the mountains.
She thought about her recent trip to the mountains. The early morning peace as she watched the sunrise. The promise of a new day. And she knew He was nodding in confirmation.
She smiled, at peace both inside and outside, and grateful to the amazing God who is always with her and loves her enough to find a way to communicate with her no matter how prickly she feels.
TO YOU OH LORD I LIFT UP MY SOUL.
Amazing God Stories 