I stared at the local weather app on my phone with disbelief, and then did a quick search for other weather resources. Surely the local forecast was wrong. I was expecting freezing temperatures soon, but snow tomorrow? My fish were still in bins! Not only are they in less than two feet of water, but they aren’t even underground. How would they survive? Well, there was only one thing to do. They had to get into the pond before nightfall.

I went outside and turned on the hose. At least we had a well so there was no concern about anything harmful in the water. But it also meant there was nothing helpful in the water either. Pond water is filled with bacteria and organisms that the fish need. It takes weeks to develop. I had hours.

And then I got an idea. The tubs were filled with fish and plants – and old pond water. What if I used that water to help fill the pond? I couldn’t think of any reason not to, so I shut off the hose and walked over to the first tub that contained fish. Carefully I netted them and did what everyone says not to do. I let them go free in the pond. Then I quickly dumped bucket after bucket of the tub water into the pond. The clear refreshing water in the pond now looked brown and murky. Disappointed that I had messed up the pond, I added the pump and filter. Maybe I could fix this.

After many hours, there was no difference in the water. What else could I do?  

After much internal debate, I decided to add more water. The new well water would mix with the old pond water and hopefully dilute it. But all it did was to make more murky water.

I wondered what would have happened if, instead of dumping buckets of old water into the new water letting them land where they would, I would have chosen a corner and slowly, carefully poured the old water into the new. There might still be some cloudiness in that area, but the rest of the pond might have remained clear.

It was late now and getting colder. Totally dejected about the whole thing, I went inside my house. My fish was safe from the snow, but at the cost of the beautiful pond water.

Our past experiences impact and control our emotions as we act on both the truths and lies they taught us. We need our past experiences just like the fish need what is in the murky water. Our experiences are what made us what we are today. But it’s wise to be aware of when and how they are impacting our day to day interactions and decisions. The question is not if our past is going to affect us, but how. Allowing the past to control our thoughts and emotions without thought or restraint is like dumping tubs of murky water into the clear pond. We can no longer see clearly. But being intentional about where and how the past is allowed to impact the present may help keep our vision clear.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. Proverbs 15:18

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15

But whoever hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:11

They are darkened in their understanding, alienate from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to the their hardness of heart. Ephesians 4:18

Let us pray for discernment as we examine our reactions and motivations. Let us see where we have dumped something we learned in the past into the present situation causing confusion and regrettable actions. Let us seek the truth, for the truth will set us free (John 8:32)