Kayla took a hesitant step toward the light. It seemed crazy to go that way. She could not see how it would lead her to the park, or how the light could remove the mountain of dirt so she could get home. In her mind, all she could imagine was ending back at the pile of deceptively sturdy dirt. Light or no light, that dirt existed and she had no way to get past it. As for the park, maybe she should turn around and go to the park regardless of the shadows. At least she knew her way in that direction. Besides, important people were waiting on her. Well, maybe not waiting anymore since she was already late. But they might still be counting on her to show up and do something.
Kayla turned and headed toward the shadows. She had only taken a few steps when she felt the pull of the sun on her back. She wanted to turn around. Her heart cried out to face the sun. But her mind was demanding to make it to where she thought she should be. Determined, she forced her feet to keep moving. The limping made for slow progress, so she had only gone about 50 yards when she stopped again. A new thought had popped into her mind. What if someone had reported the dirt and the city had sent a work crew to remove it? What if her way home was open now? With her injuries, she wouldn’t be able to do anything at the park, and she’d only end up inconveniencing someone. Better to go on home now.
Turning once again, Kayla’s heart soared as she limped toward the light. The amazing brilliance was almost tangible, and she wanted to dance in its presence. Instead, she had to settle to soaking in the warmth of the life-giving light as she slowly limped home. When she reached the bus stop, she sat down to rest. She thought about the old man and wondered where he was, hoping that he would be on the next bus to stop. She’d love to thank him for his words of wisdom. He had been so right. Facing the sunrise of new beginnings was so much better than the sunset of dark endings.
A bus pulled up, complete with all its pfssssting and hissing and diesel fumes. The door opened to let a man off, but it wasn’t the man she hoped for. She smiled anyway as he looked in her direction. His eyes seemed to see past her as if she wasn’t there, then he walked away. Kayla frowned, ready to call out something unkind, but she felt a sense of “don’t do it” rise up in her heart. That was weird. She had never felt anything like that before. It had to have something to do with the light. The light was so good, maybe she was supposed to be good, too.
Rest time over, Kayla carefully got to her feet. Although she could kind of walk on her right foot, her ankle still throbbed. Maybe going back home wasn’t the best idea after all. The park was closer, and she could get a ride home. That way she wouldn’t have to walk as far, and she wouldn’t have to deal with the dirt, should it still be there. She hated the thought of walking away from the light, but felt she had little choice. The less she walked on her ankle, the better. Besides, walking away would just be temporary. Once she got home, she would be able to face the sun again. Mind made up, she headed west.
However with each step, the call of the sun got stronger. She could feel it pulling at her heart as if it were alive – as if it were a good friend begging her not to go away. She tried to ignore it, but it found its way past every mental block she put up. Tears began to fall, unbidden, as she fought to keep going. She was doing the right thing. She was doing what she needed to take care of herself. She was not really rejecting the light, just not facing it for a little while. But try as she might to convince herself, she knew these excuses fell flat.
Giving up, she turned back around and headed toward the light that was still calling her. Maybe she should trust that if the light was calling her that way, then it would take care of her. As she waited to cross the street, she determined not to change her mind again. With the unspoken promise of the light, she would make it home. Or at least to the dirt pile, if it was still there, in which case maybe the light would reveal a way around it she had not seen before. It was worth a shot.
And Elijah came near to all the people and said, “How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him.” And the people did not answer him a word. (1 Kings 18:21)
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:8)
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. (Heb 10:23)