I’m Your Husband

When she was 5, she dreamed of growing up to be a stay at home mom and to have a husband who took care of her.

When she was 15, she dreamed of growing up to be a stay at home mom and to have a husband who took care of her.

When she was 25, she dreamed of marrying her boyfriend who would take care of her and she could be a stay at home mom.

When she was 35, she had two preschoolers, a full time job, and a husband who was just getting settled into a career. She dreamed of the day his income could support them so she could stay at home.

When she was 45, she had two kids, a full time job, and a husband who spent more time on his hobbies than sharing life responsibilities with her.

When she was 55, she had a full time job, an adult son living at home, and a husband who began having health issues.

Now that she’s retired and approaching 65, the reality of her life hit her.

Even though she had loved her job, she never got to be a stay at home mom.

Even though she loves her husband, she never got to feel that he took care of her. And she probably never will.

She spent her life taking care of her children and her husband and her students and her pets and sometimes even strangers. Who would take care of her?

One day, as she waited outside her car for her friend to arrive, she thought once again about her dream of having a husband who would take care of her. And she struggled to accept that it wouldn’t be her husband. She thought about the ways she thought a husband should be taking care of a wife and knew her husband was incapable of fulfilling that role. He was kind, caring, funny, faithful, loving, steady, smart, supportive, and strong when he needed to be. But none of those things helped pay bills,  contact/schedule/research contractors, make repairs, or handle the numerous other responsibilities that needed to be done every day.

Suddenly something shiny in the puddle at her feet caught her eye. What was that? 0201191006 (2)Something round, like an earring? She bent over to pick it up. No, it wasn’t an earring. It was more like a ring. A gold ring. Not real gold, of course. But it was pretty. And it reminded her of… a wedding band?

“I’m your Husband,” whispered a voice in her spirit. “I’ll take care of you.”

She stood in amazement and gratitude. If she was the bride of Jesus, then that would make Him her husband. She had never thought of it that way. She slipped the ring on her little finger and gazed at it with the same mix of emotions that she had had years ago when she first starting wearing her engagement ring.

“Thank You, Jesus,” she finally said. She couldn’t find any more words to say. But maybe that was enough.

As days went by, nothing changed and everything changed. Her husband was still her husband with all his strengths and weaknesses. And she was still kept busy with contractors and repairs and finances. But now she was reminded each time she saw that golden ring on her finger that as she took care of others, there was One taking care of her. And that changed everything.

Squeezing God Out

She was busy. Amazingly, she was even busier now than she had been before she retired.  And she was tired.

Something has to go, she finally thought. But what? Everything she did served a purpose and much of it actually helped other people.

She decided to make a list. Only, being as creative as she was, she did so through a drawing. She began by writing God in the center because, she thought, He is the center of my life. Then she wrote out all the things that kept her busy around God. As she drew, more things came to mind and she added those until they all began squeezing together and ended up squeezing God right out of the center.

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“Is that what I’m doing in my life?” she asked herself. “All the things I’m involved in is squeezing God right out of my life? No wonder I’m so tired. I’m trying to do all this in my own power. It’s time to prioritize! And get rid of things, though good, are not what God has called me to do!”

So she began eliminating one thing at a time. It wasn’t easy, nor is she finished. But God is back where He belongs. And that’s what counts.