Life is Like Enlarging a Fish Pond, Part 10 – The Mess

I stood up from the side of the pond and stretched my back. I thought laying rocks around the edge of the pond to hide the lining would be easy compared to what I had already accomplished. But no. This was like doing a jigsaw puzzle – except with very large, heavy pieces. I had to find rocks that fit together, and they had to look natural. That meant choosing different sizes, textures, and colors and finding ways to arrange them to cover every inch of the lining without it looking like they were covering every inch of a lining.

I had just reached a spot that required a large rock with a particular shape that I knew I had. As I stood, I looked around. Now, where did I see it last? Tubs were holding water plants until the bog pond was ready for them. Tools were left where they were last used. Clay and leaves covered the grass. The protective netting was draped over the rocks and tubs. Piles of dirt, concrete blocks, and bricks were scattered everywhere. Finding the piles of rocks, never mind one particular rock, in such a mess would not be easy. Or fast. Sighing, I began the hunt.

I admire people who can keep a clean work area. I cannot. Every flat surface gets covered with tools, inspiring materials, discarded items, and trash that didn’t make it into a trash bag. It doesn’t matter how often I stop to clean it up, within hours (or days depending on the project), everything becomes a mess again. I’ve learned to live with it.

I like to think I take after my Father. He also seems to create a mess whenever He’s working in me. When I first became His child, He brought to the surface emotions I had long buried. He showed me an inspiring future but kept jobs out of my reach. He changed my living conditions forcing me to move. He placed new ideas in my mind that mingled with old lies that hadn’t been tossed out yet. And He surrounded me with new tools – the Bible, spiritual books, highlighters, people, and music.

Over the years, there have been times when things seemed to be cleaned up. Everything in my life looked neat and tidy. But then God’s work in me would continue and a mess would quickly replace my comfortable life. New feelings from deep in my heart would be dug up and left in the open. New aspects of God and the spiritual world would fill my mind along with ideas that I clung to in case I would need them in the future. An inspiring mission would be placed in my heart but I would be kept from acting on it. Details in my life would shift and change, sometimes requiring me to move again. And I would end up surrounded with new tools to explore.

At first I would get distressed at each mess I saw. How could this be God? Isn’t He a God of order? What if this was discipline? What did I do wrong? Or is this the devil? Am I supposed to pray against it? Discouragement and confusion often complicated the work being done in me.

Yes, God is a God of order according to the Bible. However, many times we just can’t see that order. On top of that, God is also the God of storms, which are filled with chaos – roaring thunder, streaks of lightning, tossing seas. When He shakes us to remove what doesn’t belong, we may feel totally out of control. It may feel as if everything in our lives – both inner and outer – is such a mess. But we can relax knowing that He in in total control of every detail and every moment.

Over the years, as my trust in Him grows, my despair is slowly being replaced with quiet assurance that God knows what He is doing. I am learning to abide in Him, to live patiently with the mess – when I recognize it and remember that it’s temporary – and trust that God will clean it up in His time. I have also come to believe that what I, and maybe the people around me, see as a mess, God sees as a masterpiece.

Let’s learn to abide in God. To allow Him to work as He knows best. To trust that what looks and feels like a mess to us, like the underside of a piece of embroidery, will look amazing when we get to see it from God’s perspective.

And – just as important – let us extend the same grace to others as they grow in Christ. Let’s trust that the mess we may see from our viewpoint is a sign of God’s work and that one day we will see the beauty that God sees.


Scriptures:

At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, Hebrews 12:26-28

But all things should be done decently and in order. 1 Corinthians 14:40

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:11-13

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33a

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:9

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

His way is in whirlwind and storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet. Nahum 1:3b

At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, ”Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” The phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken – that is, things that have been made – in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Hebrews 12:26-27

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15a

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4

I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Life is Like Enlarging a Fish Pond, Part 5 – The Lining

Yay! The hole is all dug out and it’s time to lay the lining! All I have to do is unroll the lining, stretch it out over the hole, and start filling it water. Easy, right? That’s what all the videos show.

With my heart beating just a bit faster with anticipation, I began unrolling the lining. Unflopping it would be a better word. The lining was not rolled. It was folded. As I opened it up, there were multiple fold lines. Folds can be a source of weakness in a lining causing small leaks. The less folds the better. I knew that more fold lines would be created as I tried to mold it around curves in the pond, but to start out with them was a bit disappointing.

After fully unflopping the liner, my husband helped me to carry it over to the hole, which revealed problem number two: how to carry something that heavy above the twig and leaf covered ground. After many false starts, we gave up and just dragged it. Hopefully the lining was stronger than the reviews stated.

Once positioned, I carefully climbed down into the hole as water from the hose began filling it. I pushed and pulled, trying to take out as many folds and wrinkles as possible. It was impossible. But I kept at it until the water reached the lower shelves. I added some rocks to hold the liner in place.

 As I climbed out, I wondered why something that looked so easy on videos had been so hard for me. And then I remembered. In my hurry to get the fish into their new home before the coming freeze, I didn’t follow the helpful hint of letting the liner sit in the sun for a while to soften before trying to manipulate it.

At least the lining was in and the refilling had begun.

As I walked around the pond, I ran into yet another problem. The lining was supposed to cover both the dug out pond and the preformed plastic pond next to it to form one big pond. But in all the positioning, tugging, and pulling, somehow the lining twisted and it no longer covered the small pre-formed pond.

My vision was ruined. There was no going back without draining the pond again. And there was no way to maneuver the lining with the weight of the water laying on it.

After cutting a smaller lining and trying it in every direction possible to cover and link the two ponds together, I gave up. There was no way now to join the two ponds. By this point, I was ready to give up on the whole thing. I wanted to throw things at it or kick it or yell my frustration out at my husband. Instead, I went inside to shed a few tears. And to pray.

In life, how often do we try to accomplish our tasks on our own? Jesus will empower us to do the things He asks of us, but it doesn’t come automatically. We have to abide in Him.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples. John 8:31

Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. John 15:4

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:9

How do we abide in Jesus? What does that look like? Paul gave some instructions that we can follow.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:18-21

What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also. 1 Corinthians 14:15

David is a great model for abiding in God.

Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heaven! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to this excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Psalm 150:1-6

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? Psalm 77:11-13

I will lift up my hands towards your commandments, which I love, and I will meditate on your statutes. Psalm 119:48

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. Psalm 63:5-7

Let’s soak in the Son before attempting big projects in our own strength and reasoning. Certainly the One who accomplished the greatest building project of all time can help us with our own.