Tag: christian
The Love of the Lord is My Strength
After some very rough years, she found some of her old journals and read through them. Many brought back fond memories. Others memories weren’t so pleasant. But she found it interesting to compare her earliest years as a Christian with what she knew now as a more mature Christian. Then she ran into an entry that stopped her cold.
She read:
“OK, Lord, I did my Bible study even though I’m very tired. Before I go to bed, do you have anything to say?
“I love you. I always has loved you and I always will love you. Believe Me when I say this. It will be a strength to you. You’ll need it in the future. Don’t forget.”
She thought about that. His love is her strength?
When I’m sick with the flu, how will knowing He loves me strengthen me?
When my boss is on a rampage and I get the brunt of it, how will knowing God loves me strengthen me?
If my kids are misbehaving and I’m worn out from the daily stresses of life, how will knowing God loves me strengthen me?
“Lord, I don’t know if I understand. I believe You love me and always will. And I know that I’m going to need your strength in the future. But what do You mean that knowing Your love for me will be my strength?
“You don’t need to understand right now. Trust Me and get to know your strength – My love – now before it’s too late.”
“If You say so. How do I get to know Your love?”
“Read My book. Ask Me questions and listen for the answers.. Learn. Study. Memorize verses that will help. Talk with the spiritually mature about Me. And most importantly, talk with Me as I give you opportunities to experience My love.”
She had accepted His words and agreed to study and pray. And she did for a number of years. But then things changed and life happened and seeking to know His love got pushed farther and farther into the background until she had forgotten all about it.
Wow, she thought now. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. Knowing He loves me is all that matters. It outweighs everything around me.
When I’m sick, knowing He loves me gives me the strength to walk out that path. It reassures me that I’m not alone, He’s right there with me, watching over me, doing what’s best for me whether I’m healed quickly or slowly or not at all. Besides, I may be sick physically, but I’m not sick spiritually. No illness on earth can hurt me spiritually.
When my boss mistreats me, knowing God loves me gives me the strength to keep my head up. It protects me from letting those words and actions deep inside me where it can cause damage. No matter what the boss says, God says I’m loved and valued and treasured. I can shake off the abusive words like a dog shakes off water after a bath. And I can rest assured that if action needs to be taken, God will take care of it.
When my kids are misbehaving and I’m worn out from the daily stresses of life, knowing God’s love gives me the strength to keep going. Knowing that He understands my weariness and frustrations and loves me anyway and that I don’t have to do anything to earn that love, gives me the confidence to rest in His arms and let Him fill me. His love can energize me to handle the kids and stresses. I can be renewed and refreshed each day.
And He was right about not waiting until it was too late, she thought regretfully. If I had persevered in getting to know His love back then like I should have, my life could have been so different. Much less pain, confusion, fear, and anger. It could have been so much more amazing, effective and powerful for the Kingdom.
She felt bad. If only she had heeded His words. But there was no way to go back and change anything.
Well, she thought, if I can’t go back to change my past, maybe I can share my story with someone and change their future.
Friends, get to know God’s love for you. Not just about it in your head, but really deep down in your guts know it. It will be a strength to you. Trust me on this. Better yet, trust God!
Fear
Fear filled her. Unknown fear. Nameless fear. Fear she couldn’t connect to a source. All she knew was she was afraid.
“Lord, speak to me. Tell me what I need to know to relieve this fear.” she prayed.
“We are one.” came the swift reply.
We are one? She frowned. She and God were one? What did that even mean? How were they one? She wasn’t God. It sounded nice, but she couldn’t figure out what He was talking about.
He broke into her thoughts. “Listen. We are one. You and me. Forever.”
OK, she got the ‘you and me’ part. She knew when she gave her life to Him, she became His – His property, His follower, His friend, His daughter, etc. And the forever part – she knew she would be with Him forever. So maybe that’s what He meant by ‘we are one’, that they were joined and would never be separated. That was good for the future. The problem was now. How was knowing that going to help her with the present day fear problem?
“Don’t you get it yet?” He asked gently. “When you hurt, I hurt. Come to Me with your problems, your pain, your fears. I can take them from you. Do you understand?”
She shook her head. In her head, she understood what He was telling her. But in the nitty gritty of everyday life, she wasn’t so sure it worked like He said. All she had to do was go before Him with whatever problem or fear she had, and He would take it from her? She had tried that in the past without success.
“Do you believe me?” He asked.
She wanted to. And to a degree she did. But deep down? Did she believe He could take her fear from her? Thinking of her attempts to believe her fear away in the past, she wasn’t so sure.
“Do You trust Me?” He asked, getting to the root of the issue.
Oh no. Not that question. She knew He was trustworthy and that she should trust Him. And she WAS working on it. But she had been let down or betrayed by everyone in her life – family as well as friends. And there was still so much doubt clouding her heart and mind that she was sure she didn’t trust Him like He wanted her to. And that made her feel bad.
“I love you. I will not hurt you. Ever.” He reassured her.
She wanted desperately to believe that. Maybe deep down, where He had planted His Spirit, she did. But it was covered with layers of fear and pain and distrust.
“Oh, God, help me!” she cried out. “I want to trust You!”
“Follow Me. We’ll walk this path together. ” He invited. “Take it one step at a time. As I prove my trustworthiness to you day by day, your trust will grow. And when you can trust Me, when you can believe Me at My word, when you know My love for you and all that means, then your fears will be gone. For perfect love casts out fear.”
“I’ve read that scripture,” she told Him. “It says fear has to do with punishment. I don’t think that’s the same kind of fear I struggle with. I’m not afraid that You will punish me.”
“The bottom line is the same. Let’s look at your fear. What are you afraid of?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know.”
“OK. Let’s say it’s about feeling you’re in danger. Would that be realistic?”
“Yes, since I live and travel alone, I do fear for my safety at times.”
“Why would being alone make you fear?”
“There’s no one to protect me.”
“I’m there to protect you.”
“I know You can but I’m afraid You won’t for whatever reason.”
“So it’s a trust issue.”
“I guess so.”
“What if your fear was in having to do something outside your comfort zone? Like speaking in front of hundreds of people? What would you be afraid of?”
“I would be afraid I would mess up, or make a fool of myself.”
“Would it help if you didn’t have to do it alone? If someone was standing there with you, giving you suggestions and reassurances?”
“Definitely.”
“I would be standing there with you.”
“But would I be able to hear You.”
“So it’s a trust issue again. You don’t trust that I could make myself heard by you. One more example. What if your fear had to do with illness. What if you were just diagnosed with cancer. What would you be afraid of?”
“I would be afraid of dying. Of what would happen to my family if I did die. Of not knowing how bad it would get. Of the side effects of the treatment I would have to have. Mostly, I would be afraid of not having control.”
“What if you knew dying only meant being with Me? What if you knew your family would be taken cared of? What if you knew someone would be there every step of the way with your treatments? What if you knew someone who could not only control it all, but do so in your favor?”
“Yeah, I see what You’re saying. It does come down to trust.”
“The same goes with other fears. They all boil down to trust.”
Thinking about it, she saw that He was right.
“And why can’t you trust Me?” He asked her.
“Because I see and read about people who got hurt even though they were Your followers. If You let them get hurt, You could let me get hurt.”
“So your faith is in what you see, not in Me. Why is that?”
“Because I know what I see better than I know You.”
“Do you really know what you see? Do you really know why they got hurt? Why it appeared that I let them get hurt?”
“No,” she had to admit.
“So knowing is not the issue. It’s trust.”
“So how do I learn to trust You?”
“Like I said. Walk with Me one step at a time. As You experience My faithfulness, your trust will grow. As You experience My unconditional love for you, your trust will grow.
What really gives fear a handhold in your heart is your fear to let fear go. The thoughts 
and reasons you have about why you need that fear make you take it back every time I try to take it from you. But over time trust in Me will grow until it’s bigger than your fear. Then all you’ll need to do when a fear appears is to ask Me to take it and I will. And your belief, your trust in Me, will make it possible for you to let go of it for good.
Got it?”
And she did. And He was right. Over time, her trust in Him did increase, and the fears in her did decrease. Amazing.
A Bus Full of Angels
“Is that what I think it is?” she asked the girls next to her, pointing up at the sky. “Is that a … foot?”
They looked up and smiled.
“No, not really. It’s a hand.” they said together.
She looked again. Sure enough, now it looked like a hand. “That’s weird,” she said shaking her head. “I could have sworn it was a foot. Jesus’s foot.”
“No, not at all,” they answered together again. They waved at the hand which waved back.
She tentatively waved also and watched the hand wave back at her as it descended through the sky.
Lower and lower it came until it reached the ground.
She decided better safe than sorry and ducked inside a nearby doorway. She waited a moment, then peeked around the door frame. She saw two angels and Jesus, all smiling as if proud of something. Or maybe very pleased about something.
Jesus? Jesus! Feelings of love and want rose up in her. Jesus was there! But how could that be?
A girl pushed past her and ran outside, giving a big hug to the nearest angel.
She wanted to go outside also, but was afraid that all of this was in her head. She thought if she went outside, they would all just disappear like a puff of smoke. So she continued watching from behind the door frame.
The angels and Jesus just stood there, one angel with an arm around that girl. What were they waiting for?
Curiosity overcame her fear, and she emerged from the doorway. One of the angels got so excited seeing her that he gave Jesus a hug. It reminded her of when contestant winners who get so excited they hug anyone within arm distance.
As she slowly walked towards them, her attention was on Jesus. She noticed His medium brown hair and clear brown eyes. He looked young and beautiful. He watched her as she watched Him, and when she got within a few feet of Him, He pointed to something to her left. She turned and saw a huge bus.
Bus? She felt confused. First a hand descending from the sky, then Jesus and some angels standing in front of her, and now a bus? Did they want her to get on it or something? Why? Where would it take her?
Jesus motioned to her to follow Him. Sure enough, He led her to the bus.
OK, so He did want her on that bus. Well, she had trusted Him enough to approach Him. She was also going to trust Him now. And if He wanted her on the bus, she would get on the bus.
She climbed up the steps and sat down next to the girl that had run past her in the doorway.
“Hi, I’m Susan!” the girl said. “Isn’t this amazing? We’ve been invited to ride with Jesus! This is going to be so good!”
Well, amazing, yes. But good? She wasn’t so sure yet. IF this was real, and IF this was really Jesus, then yes, it had to be good. But what if it wasn’t? What if this was just a figment of her imagination and she was going insane? That wouldn’t be so good.
Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed Susan’s hand for security and waited for the bus to move.
Jesus climbed on and sat in the driver’s seat. The angels climbed on behind Him and sat in the only empty sea, which happened to be next to her. The rest of the seats held other angels. She was on a bus filled with angels! And Jesus was driving! She must be going crazy.
“Everybody ready?” Jesus calls out. “We’re heading to the High Places.”
“What are the High Places?” she asked Susan. But Susan was not paying attention to her and didn’t respond.
Turning back to Jesus, she saw that He was looking into the rear view mirror towards the back of the bus. “I’m sorry,” He said to whoever He was talking to. “I must take these ladies to the High Places before I take you to your destination.” She turned to see who He was talking to. There were skeletons back there! She hadn’t noticed them when she got on the bus, but she sure did now.
Then Jesus looked at her and Susan. “This is going to be fun!”
“It already is!” Susan responded.
“Good,” he said with a smile. “But I have to warn you. Once there, you will be given a mission to accomplish that might not always be fun.”
She looked from Jesus to Susan and back to Jesus. A mission to accomplish? Not always fun? What did that mean? Did she really want to go there? Was it too late to change her mind?
He smiled reassuringly at her. “Yes, you want to be here. Because that is where I am. And what better place can you be than where I am?”
She had to agree with that. So she settled back in her seat and waited for the adventure to begin. As she waited, she got drowsy and began drifting into a pleasant sleep.
Suddenly a loud jarring noise startled her. She sat up and noticed two things. One, she was no longer on the bus. And two, her alarm clock was buzzing itself right off the side table. Had all that been a dream?
Disappointed, she got up. She wished she was still on that bus no matter where it was going because Jesus had been on it. Her heart hurt with longing to be in His presence again.
“You ARE in My presence, Little One.” She knew that voice. The still small voice.
“It’s not the same,” she told Jesus. “I can’t see You with my eyes. I can’t touch You with my hands.”
“You will one day,”
“What was that I experienced?” she asked. “Was it a spiritual experience or just a dream.” It had to be just a dream, right? Jesus driving a bus full of angels and skeletons?
“It was neither,” He answered gently. “It was an allegory. A dream with meaning.”
“What did it mean?”
“Can’t you figure it out? Think about it.
So she did. And slowly it dawned on her. It was another way to look at her salvation. Perhaps a bit bizarre but a pretty accurate allegory all in all.
She saw Jesus from a distance and was afraid He wasn’t real. That was before she was saved.
She overcame her fear and approached Him. That would be her seeking salvation.
The angel celebrated when she met Jesus. Don’t angels celebrate as sinners repent?
Jesus drove the bus He led her on. He was the driver – leader – in her real life, only not with a bus.
Her fear that it was all her imagination. Yes, after her salvation, there had been times she thought all of it was just an imaginary game she and others were playing.
The bus was full of angels. God has placed angels all around His people, which included her.
He was taking her to the High Places. That was most likely representative of when she would be made whole and strong and able to do the things He calls her to do, which would be the mission the dream spoke of. As in the dream, she had not reached the High Places yet so she wasn’t too sure.
And the skeletons? She had no idea. Maybe she would figure that out later. Or maybe, since they had a different destination, she wasn’t meant to figure it out. Maybe the whole point of them was to show there are things in the spirit world she knew nothing about and didn’t concern her.
“OK, Jesus,” she said. “I have to admit. That was a pretty amazing dream. There’s no end to Your creativity, is there?”
“Nope,” He said with a smile. “Ready to have some fun?”
“Ready,” she answered, also with a smile. “Start that motor and let the ride begin!”
Just Leave Me Alone
It had been a long day. A very long day. And all day long, frustrated with things going wrong and the stress of so many people making demands on her, she had lashed out at Jesus.
“Why do You allow this to happen? Why won’t You do something about it? You’re all powerful, You could make things easier if You wanted. Is this how You take care of the people You love?”
Now that she was home, she was tired and wanted nothing more to do with anyone. Just let me be alone in peace, she thought, planning on going to bed early.
But then she remembered this was church night. Great. Should she skip church this night? Or go even though she really didn’t want to?
As she considered her choices, she decided what she needed most was Jesus to refill her. Since she found it easiest to open herself to Him during worship music, she went to church.
Once there, she sat in the least occupied area she could find hoping that everyone would leave her alone. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed, they would assume she was praying and not want to disturb her. She didn’t open them until the music started and was promptly disappointed to find out the music chosen for the service were songs she didn’t like. Just my luck, she thought. I should have stayed home.
Near the end of the service, she decided good music or not, she needed a touch from 
Jesus. So she closed her eyes and asked Jesus to totally fill her. She pictured herself kneeling in front of Him, not moving, not saying anything, just being in His presence. As she did, she began to feel lighter and lighter – like burdens were being taken off her shoulders. Enjoying the feeling, she didn’t want the service to end, but no one asked her and so it ended much too soon.
She was delighted to find that the feeling of lightness and peace went home with her. As she prepared for bed, she smelled something burning. Sniffing, she tracked it down to the fuse box. She called the landlord who came over to check it out.
“The hot water fuses shorted out,” he reported. “It’s a good thing you caught it. Too much longer and it most likely would have caught fire.”
After he left, she remembered that she had wanted to go to bed early. And if she had, there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have noticed the burning smell while she slept. She knew who was responsible for her catching it. And she thanked Him for not leaving her alone, for taking care of her even after all her ranting and raving that day. His unconditional love was truly amazing!
Could Satan Really Do That?
“I need you. Come right over. Now!”
She hung up the phone, trembling as she looked over at the little boy standing in front of her. He seemed calmer than she felt even though he was the one who was hurt. She held his arm over his head as she waited for her friend to arrive. How could this have happened? One minute the eight year old had been running around the yard and climbing everything he could. The next, he had been dangling by one arm from an abandoned swing set frame. When she got him down, she saw that, as he had gripped the top of the frame with his upper arm to keep from falling, a large screw she didn’t know was up there had ripped a deep slash into his armpit. She could see layers of skin and tissue and other things she couldn’t identify and was surprised that there was very little blood.
The next few hours were spent trying to reach his foster mother, and praying in the clinic’s waiting room as doctors and nurses worked on his underarm.
Struggling with guilt, she tried to figure out why he had gotten hurt in the first place. In the two years she had been babysitting kids in her home, no one had ever gotten hurt. She took good care of them. She never left them unsupervised. She removed anything she thought could cause injury. And she maintained order and discipline, not allowing any wild or crazy behavior.
And yet, in the past month or so three boys had gotten hurt in seemingly random bizarre ways.
Not finding any physical explanations for the sudden injuries, she looked to the spiritual. Did her recent spiritual growth have anything to do with the physical things happening around her? She knew the Bible said that Satan went around like a lion looking for who he could devour. She knew he would try to attack her to keep her faith from getting any stronger, but her kids? Would Satan really do that? Could he do that? Kids getting hurt was not acceptable.
“God,” she prayed. “Is it Satan? Does he have the authority and power to hurt people around me because of my spiritual activity?”
“What happened to Job?” she seemed to hear Him say.
“Satan was allowed to harm him in order to test his faith.”
“Did Satan harm anyone else?”
“Well, yes. His family was killed. Wow. I guess Satan CAN attack others because of me. But I don’t like it.”
“Job didn’t either. What did Job do about it?”
“Complain. Feel sorry for himself.”
“Did he lose faith?”
“No, I don’t think he did. He questioned a lot though.”
“Just like you’re doing?”
“Good point.”
What happened at the end?”
“You restored him. He was better off.”
“Why?”
“Hmmm… I guess because You were with him? And You have ultimate control?”
“Yes. Just as I do in all this. The boys are not permanently harmed. You did nothing wrong and the families don’t blame you. The question remains, what are you going to do? Back off spiritually to keep Satan from attacking again?”
“Nnnoooo… I don’t think that would be right. I shouldn’t let Satan control me like that. I guess I will keep working on growing my faith – but I AM going to get more serious about praying for the kids. And learn more about spiritual warfare.”
She did, and for the next two years that she babysat, no one else got hurt.
So what’s amazing about story?
Maybe how much the spiritual realm can manifest in the physical?
Maybe how answers for even something like this can be found in the Bible?
Maybe that Satan is real and constantly seeks to cause harm to God’s people in whatever ways he can, including physically?
Maybe that life – even spiritual life – is not always fair?
I don’t know. What do you think?
Do You Remember… Field of Flowers?
She was upset. She didn’t want to go but didn’t know why. She had spent weeks away before. Why was it so hard this time? Because it was going to be a week and a half instead of the week she first thought it would be? Why should that make a difference?
She packed slowly, feeling worse by the hour. She liked being home. All her things were there. She didn’t have many responsibilities lately and was enjoying working on her projects.
But she was needed elsewhere. And she wanted to help so she agreed to go. And had been OK about it until it came time to pack. Her online business required she take her computer, sewing machine, and the boxes of orders she needed to finish. By the time her SUV was packed to the brim, she was angry and stressed and wishing she didn’t have to go. But she had promised. She was needed. So she went.
On the way, she stopped to buy the groceries she would need while she was there. The store was very small and didn’t have everything she wanted. Anger turning to sadness and a bit of self-pity, she squeezed the few bags of groceries into her car. As she opened the driver’s door, she looked down and saw a penny. She knew God was telling her He saw her and would be with her. She picked up the penny and put it into her pocket, thanking God for the reminder. But it didn’t help much with her feelings.
Driving the long distance, she slowly became aware that almost every light she went through was green. As many times as she’s driven this route, that almost never happens. And where was the traffic? It should have been bumper to bumper at this time of day. God again?
Once at the house, and her things were in the room she would sleep in, she set up her computer and checked her emails. Nothing exciting. She took a few notes on what she would be responsible for – such as where things were, how to prepare them, what his daily routine was like, when to give him his meds – and felt increasingly insecure. Could she do this? What if something went wrong?
She decided to take a walk to ease the restlessness building in her legs. As she entered the nearby walking track, she looked down and saw something small and colorful. She picked up the little toy and looked around for its possible owner. But there were no kids around. She looked again at it and saw that it was a little plastic flower in a little plastic pot.
“Aw… God gave me a flower.” she thought.
“It’s more than that,” came a still small voice.
More?
“Remember what you wrote… about a flower…”
And the story she had written about the field of flowers came immediately to mind. And she knew.
She had written about a picture God had given her many years before. About a flowers growing joyfully in a field. And she had been sad that she had picked some of them to give to Jesus, who had promptly given them to the Father.
“These are growing beautifully, just like You said. But the ones I picked are not growing anymore. I ruined them.”
“No, child,” He said gently. “You didn’t ruin anything. Even the flowers you picked were given to the Father. It’s all for His glory – whether growing or picked.”
He continued. “Be like the flowers. Be the beautiful you He made you to be. Enjoy life, praising and loving Him, relaxing in His care, and sharing your beauty with everyone.’
“That’s easy to do, when I’m in a place as wonderful as this field. But what if someone picks me? What if they take me away from the peace and joy of this field?” She was thinking about all the demands the people in her life place on her.
“Don’t resist them. Give yourself joyfully. And just like those flowers, you, too, will be given to the Father for His glory.”
She thought she understood. At least here, in this place, it made sense. She wasn’t so sure it would feel the same when she put it into practice.
“Will You help me?” she asked Him. “When people make their demands and take me from where I want to be, will You help me remember the flowers?”
Amazingly, that’s just what He did. With a little plastic flower in the little plastic pot.
It’s in the Practice
Thinking back on all she had learned, she felt frustrated. And a little bit sad.
She knew God loved her.
She knew He was with her every moment.
She knew He was looking out for her and had a purpose for her life.
She knew He was faithful and trustworthy and powerful.
So why, with all this knowledge, was she unable to apply it to her day to day life? Why was she so ready to doubt? Why was just trusting Him so hard?
“Lord,” she prayed. “Tell me how to transform my head knowledge into heart knowledge. How do I trust You?”
“By doing what I say. By trying and falling and trying again.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.”
“It’s like learning to walk. You will learn slowly. And sometimes it’s painful. But you have to do it. It won’t happen automatically.”
“Why can’t it?”
“Because I didn’t design you that way. If growth came automatically, it wouldn’t mean much.”
“I guess that’s true. Some of the things I value the most are the things I worked hardest at. At it would be easy to take faith for granted if we never had to think about it.”
“Exactly. And every step you take towards deeper faith pleases your Father greatly.”
“Well, I do want to please Him in everything I do. I guess growing faith fits right in. OK. So how do I take these steps?”
“Put into practice what you read and…”
“All of it? Really? I’ve read so many conflicting ideas and suggestions and beliefs.”
“Listen for Me when you read. You’ll know then what to put into practice.”
“I think I do recognize You sometimes as I read. It’s like my heart does a flip or sometimes grows warm. Or sometimes the words jump off the page at me.”
“Yes, different ways, to keep you on your toes.”
“Is that it?”
“No, You must also put into practice all that I say to you. And yes, all!”
“Even the hard things? And the scary things?”
“You don’t need to fear. I won’t tell you to do anything that you’re not ready to do.”
“What if I make a mistake in hearing from You? What if I think You said to do something, but I heard wrong?”
“That will happen at times. Stay humble, come to me, and I’ll take care of you. I’ll either cover for you or I’ll show you how to fix it.”
“But if I’m going to be wrong sometimes, how can I trust enough to act on it?”
“Don’t doubt but believe. As you act, as you practice taking these steps, you will get better and your faith will grow stronger. ”
“And You will be with me?”
“Every step of the way. I will not let you down.”
She thought about what He said. Although she wasn’t thrilled about the falls she would make over time, she was always thrilled when He spoke to her. And this time was no exception. “Thank You, Lord, for speaking to me and for Your amazing promises! I will practice as You say. And I look forward to the day when my trust in You is no longer just in my head, but has truly taken up residence in my heart!”
A Conversation With Myself (or Can We Get Some Feedback?)
Me: We have a problem.
Myself: What kind of problem? Are we out of keyboard strokes?
Me: What? Never mind. We’re going to need to change our blog posts. Do you think our readers are aware that our stories are based on real life events from the journals we kept in our earlier life?
Myself: Maybe. But I bet few would know that genre is called creative nonfiction. I had never heard of that before we began writing in it! I wonder how many other genres are out there that we’ve never heard of.
Me: Focus, man! We’re not talking about genres. We talking about our blogs! We need some information.
Myself: You mean, like what our readers like to read?
Me: Yes. If you haven’t noticed, we’re pretty much done with the journals from the 1970’s. We need to move on to the 80’s.
Myself: So?
Me: So there’s a problem with that. Our life changed more than a few times during the 80’s. And so our journal entries changed also.
Myself: How? The handwriting?
Me: No, you fool. They went from event based to thinking based. More about what we thought about things than actual events.
Myself: So? I still don’t see the problem.
Me: Really? How can we write about events when there aren’t many to choose from?
Myself: Oh, I get it. So what do we do?
Me: There’s several directions we can go, but I just can’t decide.
Myself: Well, maybe if we figured out why we’re writing in the first place, it might help us figure out which direction to go.
Me: OK. At first we wrote to practice our writing skills. But that changed over time after we began getting feedback. So we need new goals.
Myself: I have one! How about to brighten our reader’s day with a little entertainment?
Me: That’s good. We definitely want to do that. But that seems so trivial. We need to think deeper. Like maybe to inspire our readers to keep on keeping on with their own walks with God.
Myself: Ooo, I like it! But I have one even deeper than that! To glorify God by acknowledging, and in a way thanking, Him for all the ways He has been faithful to us!
Me: Perfect! So we have three new goals. Now how do we reach them?
Myself: Get readers to read them of course!
Me: Duh! And how do we do that when we don’t know what they like?
Myself: Now who’s being dumb. Ask them!
Me: Their time is precious with so many daily demands on their lives. And there’s so many great blogs they could be reading. I always feel honored when they choose to spend some of that time reading what we write. I don’t want to ask even more of their time. I want them to be glad each time they visit us.
Myself: Well, it won’t hurt to ask them. Maybe a few of them would be kind enough to answer.
Me: Wow! If they would, I think I would jump with joy!
Myself: That I would love to see! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you jump, except for when you see a roach. lol
Me: Very funny. Let’s write a letter to our readers with our questions.
Myself: Good idea. Here’ s what I think it should say:
“Dear Readers,
We love you! Thank you so much for spending some of your valuable time with us! Could we please ask you a few questions? It would help us out tremendously as we contemplate the direction we want our blog to take.”
Me: Tremendously? Contemplate?
Myself: Shhh… big words might make them think we’re smarter than we are.
Me: sigh
“Here are some questions, but any comments or suggestions would also be greatly appreciated!
Which of our stories had the greatest impact on you?
What kinds of stories would you like to see more of? Humorous, thought provoking, emotional, chapters (where one long story is divided into several blogs), etc.?
Are there any type stories you don’t like?
Would you be interested in other kinds of writing such as our commentary as we studied different scriptures? Or pictures we drew that told a story all on their own (with maybe just a caption when necessary)?
Do you prefer daily short stories or fewer longer stories (like 2-3 per week)?
What else can we do to make our blogs more inspiring, entertaining, and/or worthwhile of your time?
Very gratefully yours,
Me and Myself”
Me: Sounds good. Let’s post it!
I hope this blog brought you a smile or two! The dialogue was meant to be humorous but the questions are serious. I really would like feedback. When I was still teaching, I used to ask parents as well as my students for feedback from time to time in order to evaluate my performance and make changes when necessary in order to become the most effective teacher I could be. I would like to use that same strategy to help me become the most effective, inspiring, impactful blogger I can be. I would truly be honored for any time you spend providing this feedback to me! And I truly do love you!
Linda
Getting Closer
Previously:
Wrestling with God (continued from You Want to be a What?)
Caught in the Middle, a Continuation
and now… Getting Closer
Something was definitely wrong, she thought. He’s acting really strange tonight. Even stranger than he had the last few weeks, after she had heard from God to give him time. And she had. But now he was acting cold and distant.
True, he had traveled the hour to visit the local prayer meeting she had started attending. And he had been his normal endearing self to the others who were there. But when it was time to leave, he had said goodbye to her abruptly and without much feeling.
Now she was getting ready for bed and wondering what went wrong. Did she hear from God wrong and this was all normal as he prepared to leave? Was their relationship over?
“God,” she cried. “I know I gave him to you. But You also said he wasn’t going to be a priest. I have no idea what’s going on. And it hurts. Take care of him whatever’s happening.”
Just then there was a knock on her door. She glanced at the clock. 10 PM. Who would be 
coming to her house at this time of night? Scared to open the door, she tried to peek out the window. There weren’t many lights, but she managed to see the car parked in the driveway behind her car. Could it be? It looked like his car! What could he be doing here? It had been an hour since he left and she was already in her PJs. She couldn’t let him see her like this!
“Hello?” she heard him call. “It’s me. Let me in.”
Dreading what he might have come to tell her – sure he was breaking up with her – she let him in.
“Why are you here? I’m already dressed for bed,” she protested.
“You look beautiful to me any way you dress,” he answered with a smile.
They sat in the den and he told her that as he was on his way home, he had begun thinking about the evening and didn’t like how it ended. So he had decided to come back to talk with her about it.
So she took a deep breath and prepared herself to be let down, certain he would explain how their relationship had to end.
“I’ve been thinking about this a long time,” he said. “I don’t really know how to say it.”
Here it comes, she thought, looking down at her lap.
“I love you.”
What? She was definitely not expecting that. She looked up into his face.
He was smiling but there was fear? uncertainty? along with the smile.
“I love you,” he said again. “I know the seminary is something we need to deal with, but for right now I want you to know that I love you.”
Unable to speak, she just stared at him.
“I don’t really know how you feel about this. I was afraid to tell you.”
She smiled. But then the smile froze on her face as fear rose up inside her. Now that she was faced with the moment she had waited so long for, she didn’t know what to say. Did she love him? Did she really love him – or was she just imagining her feelings all these months, building them up into something they weren’t? She felt so broken inside, could she love him or anyone? Was she even capable of love?
“I don’t know if I can love you. I don’t know if I can love anyone.” she finally said.
Her response was not what he expected, but he accepted it, as he had accepted her from the beginning. They talked for hours about her fears and feelings, about his fears and feelings, and about their possible future together. Then they prayed. “God, we don’t know where this is going. But we thank you for the opportunity we had tonight to really share our hearts with each other. We place this relationship in Your hands. And we trust that You will continue to guide us. ”
And He did. For the next six months as seminary loomed closer (those struggles are a whole ‘nother story), for the following four years of their courtship, and for the next 33 years and counting of their marriage – His amazing love was with them every step of the way.
The end. Or the beginning depending on how you look at it. 🙂
Amazing God Stories 