Tag: relationship

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 5 Biblical Marriage Vows

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

A vow is a solemn, voluntary, one-party promise, usually to God, to perform a specific action.

On the other hand, a covenant is a formal, binding, and often unconditional agreement between two or more parties – marriage; God and His people – often involving long-term, mutual commitment.

Would we take our wedding vows more seriously if we were to sit together and draw up a covenant instead of reciting some vows?  How would that sound?

Maybe like this…

We enter into this marriage in order to walk together through life as one flesh, joined together until death. We look to Jesus, who holds all things together, to meet our needs and to help and council us as we seek His Kingdom first.

I, (groom), will love you, (bride), as Jesus loved the church. I will give myself up for you, nourishing and cherishing you as I do my own body.  I will treat you with gentleness and understanding, and honor you as a fellow heir.

I, (bride), I will love and respect you, (groom), as my spiritual head and submit myself to you as to the Lord. I will adorn myself with a gentle and quiet spirit.

We will love each other, not as defined by the world but as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. We will do nothing from selfish desires, but will, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bear with each other in love as we pursue the peace and unity of the Spirit. We will apologize when we fail, forgive as Christ forgives us, pray for each other, and use the gifts we have received from the Holy Spirit to build each other up.

This covenant or set of vows, which elaborates om and paints a clearer picture of the traditional “to have and to hold” vows, would help us think seriously about entering into marriage, and set clear expectations.. It won’t be easy to keep but being Biblical; it comes with the promise that God will help us. It is also easy to find. I made my vows more than forty years ago, and I can’t remember now anything I said that day. But if I had made a covenant such as the one above, I wouldn’t have to try to remember. It would be right there in the Bible to read as often as I needed to.

It’s too late for those of us who have already made unrealistic or vague vows we can’t, haven’t, or have trouble keeping. But what if we recommitted to each other with a new, God-powered covenant? How would that affect our marriages going into the future?

It might be worth a try.

Scriptures (there are a lot of them)

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2

When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isiah 41:10

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.1 Peter 3:1-5

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12:7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working James 5:16

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound in every good work… 2 Corinthians 9:8

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 4 Marriage God’s Way

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. When to get married, when not to get married, why get married, the roles of each spouse, and how to treat each other. Based on this, marriage must be either important to God or problematic for people. I think it’s both.

Marriage is important to God because it is a picture of Jesus’ relationship with us, His church. The love and faithfulness, service and fellowship that He gives and wants in return is how He planned marriages to be – with one big difference: He is faithful even when we are not.

Marriage is problematic for people for two reasons. One is because we are generally self-centered. Whether we realize it or not, we live as if the world revolves around us. If we go into marriage with this mindset, we will eventually feel let down or betrayed.

The other reason is our expectations. We may serve people for a time – food banks, mission trips, volunteer opportunities – not expecting much in return. We may look to others – friends, family, nonprofits, government – to meet our needs knowing they may not always be able to. But we tend to expect more out of our spouses even though they have the same weaknesses as everyone else. Could that higher expectation be part of the reason?

In biblical marriages we are encouraged to treat each other as Jesus treats us – not as we treat each other. We are encouraged to look to Jesus to fill all our needs – not expect our spouse to carry that load. We are encouraged to forgive each other like Jesus forgives us – daily, without holding a grudge, and without keeping score. And we are encouraged to serve each other, to think of our spouse over our own desires – like Jesus did for us when He lived and died for us.

What would happen if we entered into a marriage with these goals in mind? How would our vows be shaped by these goals?

 That’s what I will explore in the final part, Part 5.

Scriptures

For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name Isaiah 54:5a  

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. Isaiah 54:5 

 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:7-9

I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 2 Corinthians 11:2

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Heb 13:4

Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctity her, having cleansed her by the washing of water and the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 3 Statistics

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

The good news is that the divorce rate in the US is declining. However, the marriage rate is also declining. (See statistics at the end of this blog.) More people are waiting until late in life or never to get married. Many of these people are living with someone instead of marrying them. When these relationships break up, the number is not added to the divorce rate since they were never married. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t experiencing the same difficulties of a married couple. The number of couples (married and unmarried) seeking marriage counseling instead of jumping into divorce is increasing which is also lowering the divorce rate.

The bad news is that the divorce rate is still high. Some put it at almost 50%. And sadly, Christian marriages do not have better numbers. In fact, Christians are slightly more likely to divorce than nonChristians. (see statistics at the end of this blog.)

This is not what Jesus intended for us. He gave us through His Word the dos and don’ts of marriages and the power of the Holy Spirit to live it out. So why aren’t we? I think that our wedding vows may have something to do with it.

We often make unbiblical and unrealistic promises that form a vision of what life together will look like. It sets our expectations high – too high for most people to keep long term. Then we get hurt, disappointed, disillusioned. It’s even worse when we compare our marriage to those in movies, books, social media, and in the couples around us. We start thinking about our marriage and think, “This is not what it’s supposed to be.” My spouse is not as romantic as the one in the movie last night, doesn’t provide for all my desires like the one in the book I just finished reading, and doesn’t serve me breakfast in bed on our anniversary like my friend’s spouse does. This is not the life I signed up for.

What we often don’t look at is how we tend to treat our spouses the way they treat us, often misinterpreting their motives and actions. If asked, our spouse may make the same complaints about us and come to the same conclusion about our marriage as we did. Many couples at this point decide to call it quits. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

In Part 4 we’ll take a look at marriage from a Christian perspective.

Some statistics for those who are interested in such things:

Wilkinson and Finkbeiner  (https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/)

As of 2021, both marriage rates AND divorce rates in the US are decreasing – with the marriage rate dropping from 8.2 per 1,ooo people in 2000 to 6.1 and the divorce rate from 4.0 in 2000 to 2.7. The breakdown shows that almost 50 percent of all marriages in the US will end in divorce or separation. 41 percent of first marriages, 60 percent of second marriages, and 73 percent of third marriages will end in divorce. The US has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world

Why are people divorcing? According to the Wilkinson and Finkbeiner, a recent national survey showed that lack of commitment is the most common reason.  Other reasons are:

  • Lack of commitment 73%
  • Argue too much 56%
  • Infidelity 55%
  • Married too young 46%
  • Unrealistic expectations 45%
  • Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
  • Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
  • Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%

(Respondents often cited more that one reason, therefore the percentages add up to much more than 100 percent)

Barna (https://www.barna.com/trends/marriage-divorce-trends-2025/)

Christians—even practicing Christians, who regularly attend church and say their faith is important to them—are as likely as other adults to say they have gone through divorce.

  • 20% nonpracticing Christians
  • 16% practicing Christians  
  • 16% non-Christians

My Denver Therapy (https://mydenvertherapy.com/couples-therapy-statistics/)

  • Almost 50% of married couples have gone to counseling at some point in their relationship. 
  • The median couple starts couples therapy about 4 years into the relationship. The highest percentage of couples in marriage counseling have been married between 3 and 5 years. Many say they wish they didn’t wait so long to start.
  • About 75% of couples who go to counseling see an improvement in their relationship, and 90% see an improvement in their physical or mental health. One study had 99% of couples currently in therapy say that it had a positive impact on their relationship. 

Scriptures

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:20

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 2 Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

Have you ever stopped to really consider the promises being recited at a wedding? What if we could see into the future and then recite our vows with that in mind. What if we said the quiet part out loud? In the world, it might sound like this.

I take you…

to have and to hold, (except when you make me mad or when I am too tired or when you come in from cutting the grass all dirty and smelly or before you brush your teeth in the morning…)

 in good times and bad, (except when the bad times make you irritable, angry, or depressed or are happening because you did something stupid)

for richer and for poorer, (except when you spend all our money and max out the credit cards or because you lost your job and have many excuses why you can’t find another one…)

in sickness and in health. (except when it causes me to become your caretaker, like if you became paralyzed from an accident or developed dementia or an autoimmune disease…)

I promise to be faithful to you (as long as you are faithful to me and you keep up your appearances and you fulfill all my desires…)

and stand beside you in all things. (except when doing so will cause me to be too uncomfortable or when it cuts into my personal time)

I promise to keep laughing with you, (until your jokes get so old that all I can do is groan)

crying with you, (after the first few dozen times, you’re on your own)

and never stop finding new ways to make you smile. (except when you stop finding new ways to make me smile)

I will love, (until the emotion goes away)

honor, (as long as you are honorable and do the right things)

and cherish you (except when I take you for granted because I’m too busy thinking about myself)

all the days of our lives. (maybe most of the days, but the nights are mine)

In Part 3, we’ll take a look at some statistics.

Scriptures:

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17 

Do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath, for all these things I hate, declares the Lord.”  Zechariah 8:17

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. Colossians 2:8

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 1 Overview

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

We’ve all heard them. Sweet, love filled promises from one person to another before saying “I do.”  Some are serious, others are humorous. Some are long, some are short. Some are read from papers in trembling fingers, others are recited from the heart. But they all have one thing in common: the person saying them truly believes what they are saying. And usually, so does the recipient.

The promises in wedding vows – to always be there, to support, to respect, love, and encourage each other, etc. – are not in themselves bad. It’s okay to say and pursue them, but when we put our hope and trust in them, it can create expectations that might not be sustainable. What happens when jobs are lost, spouses lie or cheat, life goals change and conflict with each other, and love grows cold? What happens to the marriage when these wonderful-sounding expectations aren’t met?

Another problem in many wedding vows is that they are self-focused. “I love you because you make me feel good.” I love you because you encourage me with I’m feeling down.” I love how your smile lights up my heart.” If a person goes into a marriage with the expectation that their spouse fills their needs, what happens when the spouse gets sick or depressed or busy or overwhelmed – and can no longer meet these needs?

Third, vows are usually easy to keep in the early years. Then children arrive. And jobs are lost. And illnesses rage. And interests change. And more children arrive. And temptations sneak in. The promises made in the beginning are forgotten in the stress of managing busy lives. What used to makes us smile about the other becomes buried under layers of disappointments, failures, and age-related physical and mental changes.  We trusted that our partner would make our lives better and be there when things were tough. But as the years go by, little by little, one small failure after another, resentment and accusations can slowly creep into our hearts – and often out of our mouths. “You promised to make me smile every day! Well, I’m not smiling now as you play golf leaving me to struggle with our bills.”

The high divorce rate in this country, even in Christian marriages, is evidence of broken promises and unfilled expectations.

So should we set up our marriages to fail from the beginning by making promises we can’t keep? There are many warnings in the Bible about keeping vows made to God, and I would think that vows made in the deliberate presence of God would carry a similar weight. So, should vows be eliminated from a wedding?

No, I don’t think so. But I do think they should be changed.

  • Promises of what you will do in the future? You don’t know what the future holds.
  • Reasons why you love the person you’re marrying? Those reasons may become moot as your spouse changes.
  • Ways your feel loved by your future spouse? Those reasons may become buried under the concerns and burdens of everyday life.

It’s okay to describe when you knew you wanted to get married or how the other person makes you feel in the present. It’s okay to state what you want to do in the future for the other person. But none of these should be promises. Instead, what if we focused on what God will do? He’s the only one who can fulfill all of His promises and meet all of our needs.

What if a wedding vow sounded more like this:

I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you in good times and bad. I want to help you when you are down, and celebrate with you when you are up. I want to support you, grow with you, and live your dreams with you. The best way I know to accomplish this is by the strength and help that God gives me. Therefore, I promise to always keep God the center of our marriage. I promise to abide in Jesus so that I will be able to love you with the love and strength He provides. I promise to obey God’s word as it relates to marriage, and to be accountable to you for that. I promise to pray for you and for our marriage each day. Looking to Jesus to strengthen me, equip me, counsel me, and to meet all my needs, I will be free to serve you without expecting anything back. I will be free to love you as you are and as you will be as you grow and change. Together, with Jesus, I look forward to walking into the future with you.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – saying the quiet part out loud.

Scriptures:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:13-17

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isiah 41:10

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. Nahum 1:7

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence… 2 Peter 1:3

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound in every good work… 2 Corinthians 9:8

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 1 Timothy 6:17

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

Open Your Eyes – Lord; An Allegory

On By LindaIn Open Your Eyes2 Comments
Photo by Boryslav Shoot on Pexels.com

Darlene sighed as she straightened. “There,” she said, “The weeds are gone.”

Brandi looked around. “There’s still so much to do. I wonder why the lady let her yard get so bad. Good thing you decided to help her.”

Darlene brushed the dirt off her jacket. “Well, Mr. Evans asked me to so here I am. I’m going to go ask what he wants me to do next.”

Brandi pointed. “I don’t know Mr. Evans but I’m happy to help out. I’ll trim those bushes. I don’t know if spring is the right season, but it’s easier to trim the branches before the leaves start growing. “

“He didn’t say anything about the bushes but I guess it’s okay. It does need to be done.” Darlene opened the back gate. “Be back soon.”

Brandi put on a pair of gloves and picked up the shears just as a man walked through the back gate. He waved when he saw her and headed in her direction.

“Hi, Seth! You made it!”

Seth nodded, “I couldn’t let my friend do all this by herself, could I?” He looked around. “You’re not kidding. This place is a mess.”

“Darlene said that Mr. Evans said it needed to be cleaned up. I pulled the weeds and am about to trim the bushes.”

“I think the patio needs to be hosed and scrubbed, too. I’ll go do that.”

“Good idea.” Brandi walked to the side fence and began snipping the bush branches while Seth found a broom in the shed and began sweeping.

By the time Darlene returned, the bushes were trimmed, the patio clean, the raised garden bed filled with compost and topsoil, and the leaves raked.

“Wow,” Darlene called to the two friends. “You’ve done so much!”

“Where have you been?” Brandi asked. “I thought you were just going to ask Mr. Evans what to do next.”

“I did ask him. He told me to help the people in the front yard first. They were planting a tree and needed another set of hands. And then to come back here and check for dog poop.”  She walked to the shed. “There’s supposed to be a poop-scooper in here.”

“Ew,” Brandi held her nose. “You can have that job. I’m going to clean the patio furniture.” She called to Seth, “Did you happen to see a bucket and some rags in the shed when you were in there?”

“Yes, the rags are on the shelf and there’s a bucket next to the door.”

The clanging of a dinner bell stopped all three helpers.

“Yay!” Darlene cheered. “Time for lunch!” She headed for the back door.

“I’m starving!” Brandi said as she joined Darlene.

“Me, too.!” Seth echoed as he joined the girls.

The back door opened just as they got there.

Mr. Evans motioned to Darlene. “Come and get it! The barbeque chicken is hot on the stove and there are fresh rolls from the oven.”

Darlene grinned and entered the house. Seth and Brandi tried to follow but Mr. Evans stopped them.

“Sorry, but this is for friends and family only.”

“But we helped out! Didn’t we trim the bushes, pull weeds, clean the patio and rake the leaves?”

Mr. Evans shook his head. “I don’t know you. ” He pointed to the back gate .”You’ll need to leave.” Then he went inside, closing the door firmly behind him.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who des the will of my Father who is in heaven.  On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And I will declare to them, ‘I never know you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ Matthew 7:21-23

When I read Matthew 7:21-23, I’m struck by two things. One is that Jesus told these people who did things in His name that He never knew them. The other is that He attached the word ‘many’ to that. Does that mean many church-going Christians are not going to make it into the kingdom of heaven? That thought is sobering.

Doing things in the name of Jesus is not the same thing as making Him Lord of your life. You can go to church, sign up for mission trips, help out in community outreach programs, and take food to the homebound without submitting yourself to His Lordship. Without this submission, all you have is religion. Religion does not get you into heaven. Only Jesus can do that – and only when you’ve made Him your Lord and Savior.

Lord AND Savior, not Lord OR Savior.

Making Him Lord is not reciting a certain prayer or just calling Him Lord. Making Him Lord means to give yourself to Him heart, soul and body. You put yourself under His Lordship. You don’t live for yourself anymore – you live for Him. You give up what you want to do and do what He tells you to do.

Have you done that? Does Jesus know you?

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? – unless indeed you fail to meet the test! 2 Corinthians 13:5

Open Your Eyes – What Would Jesus Do?

On By LindaIn Open Your EyesLeave a comment
Photo by Nothing Ahead on Pexels.com

WWJD. It used to be a big thing years ago, but I still see it around today.

To know what Jesus would do in any situation, we first need to know who Jesus is and what He did when He was here on Earth.

Jesus is the Son of God who came to earth for a time. He is God in human form (Philippians 2:8). He created everything – including us (John 1:1-3). He is sovereign over all (Eph 1:20-21). Seeing Jesus is seeing the Father (John 14:9a).

Jesus loves people. He loves us so much that He died for us in order to restore our relationship with the Father (Romans 5:10-11). This shows that love means value. He values us enough to pay the painful price for our sins.

Contrary to many popular declarations, Jesus did not come here to love us as it is defined today. He didn’t walk around accepting and supporting everyone and their behaviors and choices. He was clear that sin led to death (Matt 18:8-9). He got quite angry at some of the choices people made such as hypocrisy (Matthew 23:1-36), greed and irreverence (Mark 11:15-17) and leading others to sin (Luke 17:1-2).

 “But He ate with sinners,” many people say. “He didn’t judge them.” It is true that He ate with sinners, but not to show His acceptance or support of their sin. He ate with them to call them to repentance (Matt 5:30-32). In fact, His ministry revolved around calling people to repentance (Matthew 4:17). He even sent out His disciples to call other towns to repentance (Mark 6:12). As He preached and taught Jesus healed and delivered and fed people who came to Him, but always with the same message. He told the woman caught in adultery to sin no more (John 8:11). He told the crippled man that He healed the same thing (John 5:14).

He helped many people but not everyone. He didn’t help the widow who gave her last coins (Mark 12:42-44). He didn’t help non-Jews (Luke 15:24). Even with the Jews, the Bible often used the word ‘many’ instead of ‘all’. When asked one time, He said He only did what He saw His Father doing (John 5:19). He also didn’t help/heal everyone the same way and He didn’t feed every crowd.

When Jesus returns, He will not be coming as a meek and mild baby. He will not be forgiving and calling us to repentance. He is coming back with fire in His eyes to judge the world. He is angry and will be exacting vengeance on those who have continued in their sinful choices (Rev 19:12a, 15).

So what would Jesus do in today’s society?

He would spend His time calling people to repentance and teaching about the kingdom of heaven.

He would value people but not accept and support every lifestyle and choice. He would point out the danger of sin and warn of its penalty while enjoying time with them as people created in God’s image.

He would spend time with most people, not avoid them. Most because religious hypocrisy and leading others to sin were exceptions. He wouldn’t spend time with them but would call them out on their behavior.

He would help people but only as the Father led Him. His first criteria would be to seek His Father’s will, and then treat each person as an individual.

He would pray. A lot. His relationship with the Father would come before everything else. And it was through of His relationship with His Father that He could do everything else.

Now the question becomes WWYD – What Will You Do?

Philippians 2:8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

John 1:1-3 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.

Eph 1:20-21 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

John 14:9a Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.

Romans 5:10-11 For if while we were still enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Matt 18:8-9 And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

Mark 11:15-17 And they came to Jerusalem. And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold and those who bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. And he would not allow anyone to carry anything through the temple. And he was teaching them and saying to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations’? But you have made it a den of robbers.”

Luke 17:1-2 And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.

Matt 5:30-32  And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

Matthew 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Mark 6:12 And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.” So they went out and proclaimed that people should repent.

John 8:11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither to I condemn you; go, and from now on sin nor more.”

John 5:14  Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.”

Mark 12:42-44 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all  those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

Luke 15:24  He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

John 5:19 So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.”

Rev 19:12a, 15 His eyes are like a flame of fire… From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.

Love God First and Foremost – Open Your Eyes Series

On By LindaIn Open Your EyesLeave a comment
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Deuteronomy 6:5  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Do you love God first and foremost? What does that look like?

Love: Strong’s 157 to have affection.  Affection is defined as a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.

You can feel affection for all sorts of things. Family, your pets, and babies.  Maybe even chocolate, cozy fires on cold days, and walks on the beach.  What about God?  Do you feel affection towards Him? Do thoughts of Him fill you with delight and warmth?

Your heart: Strong’s 3824  inner man, mind, will, heart

What fills your heart each day? Is it God? How much of your heart do you give to God? How much time do you spend thinking about Him and His ways?

Your soul: Strong’s 5315 a soul, living, being, life, self, person, desire, passion, appetite, emotion

What is your passion in life? What is your greatest desire? What elicits the greatest emotions in you? Is it God? Do you seek Him as earnestly and passionately as you do your hobbies or jobs or love relationships? Do you get emotional about Him like you do at football games or concerts?

Your strength: Strong’s 3966 vehemence, vehemently, wholly, speedily

Where do you put your greatest energy? What goals and dreams do you work towards with all your strength? Is it getting to know God? To grow in love and knowledge of Him? Of doing the things He has asked of you?

Jesus grew up with the Old Testament.  He was well familiar with Deuteronomy 6:5. But when He was asked about the greatest commandment, He said it in a different way.

Luke 10:27 And He answered, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all our soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

Love: Strong’s 25 to love, wish well to, take pleasure in, long for, denotes the love of reason, esteem.

This expands on the definition of love above. Not only are you to set your affection on Him, but do you also long for Him and esteem Him above all else? Do you take pleasure in Him and His ways?

Heart: Strong’s 2532 the heart i.e. the thoughts or feelings

This one is very close to the Deuteronomy scripture. How much of your thought-life is spent on God? Do you freely give Him your feelings, or do you hold back on those, keeping Him more academic?

Soul: Strong’s 5590 breath i.e. spirit, abstractly or concretely

Does every breath you take find its home in God? If you only got to take in a breath each time your thoughts went to God, would you thrive or die of suffocation?

Strength” Strong’s 2479 strength (absolutely), power, might, force, ability

How much force do you apply to push past distractions that come between you and God? How much will-power do you exert in seeking God when you’re tired or stressed or worried or sad? Do you run after Him with the best of your ability? Or do you make half-hearted attempts, giving up when the way gets hard?

Mind: Strong’s 1271 deep thought, properly, the faculty, by implication, its exercise

How deeply do you contemplate God? Are thoughts of Him fleeting as they dance through your mind, or do you exercise your brain, digging deep to understand what God reveals to you through His Word?

Don’t forget the word ‘all’. God didn’t say to love Him with some of our heart, some of our strength, some of our mind. He wants it all.

I do not do a very good at following this first and foremost command. I suspect that you don’t either. We might have lots of reasons for falling short. We’re human, we’re busy with the concerns of life, and we don’t want to become extreme like “those” people. But none of that excuses us. God gave the command to us fully aware that we are human. He’s told us to seek His kingdom first and He’d provide everything we needed. As for being extreme, Jesus was a bit extreme when He died for us. How much less so should we be?

Why does God want us to be so focused on Him? Why does He want us to love Him above all other things or people? I don’t know because it is not spelled out in the Bible. But I do know it’s not for His benefit. His commands to us are always for our benefit, to keep us safe, and to help us grow in our relationship with Him. Could it be that this first command is the basis of our entire relationship with Him? That it forms the foundation that will help us get through hard times? That in the end times, which we may well be in, it will keep us safe from deception of all kinds?

Too many times we are lulled into letting thoughts of Him drift away as other things take His place. It’s easy to become complacent until He becomes a no more than a Sunday routine. Let’s wake up to reality – to how much we actually love God. Let’s not accept anything less than our all. Let’s pray and ask God to help us grow in our ability to obey His command. That is one prayer I can pretty much guarantee He will be pleased to grant.

Are We Living In a Social Earthquake? Part 2

On By LindaIn allegories, analogies, and parables, My Thoughts1 Comment
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The damage from this social earthquake is intense. Ruined family relationships, the instability of morals, the destruction of respect for others, and the broken trust in our leaders and media.

The results are a nation of people living in a constant state of high anxiety, struggling with their instincts of fight or flight and clinging desperately to what they think will provide stability and safety, whether or not it really will.

I can’t speak for non-Christians, but what if those who identify as Christians respond to this social earthquake in a different way than in the previous paragraph? What if we actually live what the Bible teaches?

Oh, wait. Those are trigger words today. Let me rephrase it.

What if we actually live the two most important commandments that Jesus gave us? To love God first and foremost, and love each other as He loved us?

If we love God with all of our hearts, we won’t be giving our hearts to the wrong people or ideas. As a bonus, as God loves us back, we won’t be looking to others to fill our need for love. We won’t need others to affirm us, and we won’t be offended if they don’t.

If we love God with all our souls, we will conform ourselves to Him, and not be confused or shaken by changing social dictates.

If we love God with all of our minds, we will be focused on Him. Meditating on His ways and character  will leave us little time to be misled by ideas being pushed and lies being told.

If we love God with all of our strength, our energy will be directed towards what God wants and in doing good. We won’t have enough energy left to bicker and point fingers.

And if we love each other as Jesus loves us, we will be keep busy focusing on the good of others.  Speaking truth, tolerating each other’s quirks, listening to the heart of others instead of what we might see on the outside, meeting their needs, and enjoying various personalities will keep us so busy we won’t have time to think about ourselves. We won’t need to. Jesus said seek the kingdom first and the Father will supply our needs. That means spend your time taking care of others as God leads, and He will take care of you no matter how strong the earthquake.

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34)

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Ps 37:3

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

Spiritual or Psychological?

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment
Journal Entry, summer of 2021

With the merciful you show yourself merciful;

with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;

with the purified you show yourself pure;

and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.

Psalm 18:25-26

I’ve often wondered why nonbelievers see God so differently than I do. The One I see as holy and loving and affirming, they see as harsh, cruel, and distant. Sometimes I just look at people with wonder as they go off against God. How could they be so far from the truth?

David must have had the same question at some point – but instead of just wondering about it, he had an answer. When I read Psalm 18 again not too long ago, my inner conversation went like this…

Ah, so that’s why. People see what God wants them to see, and that’s based on their own character traits.

Wait… what if it’s more like people are projecting their own nature on to God? Maybe God has nothing to do with it. Maybe David has it backwards. Maybe people see God as they see themselves. That would be kind of like making God in their own image.

But that doesn’t hold true for many people I know. In my own experience, if the psychological explanation is accurate, I should see God as selfish, distant, and judgmental. But I don’t. So it has to be spiritual eyesight.

Hmmm… this would make an interesting topic to research. I wish I had time to do that.

Paul told the Corinthians that unbelievers were unable to see spiritual truth.

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. 1 Corinthians 2:14

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:3-5

Unbelievers who are open can ask God and He will show Himself to them. But for those who are not, no amount of discussion, argument, intimidation, threat, pleas, or explanations will make them see what they can’t.

When I pray for non-Christians now, and those who call themselves Christians but don’t live like they are, I ask God to open their eyes to who He really is. That way they will know the difference between who they perceive God to be and who He really is. Then their choice to accept or reject Him will be based on reality instead of misunderstanding.

Lord, may we all see You for who You really are.