A vow is a solemn, voluntary, one-party promise, usually to God, to perform a specific action.

On the other hand, a covenant is a formal, binding, and often unconditional agreement between two or more parties – marriage; God and His people – often involving long-term, mutual commitment.

Would we take our wedding vows more seriously if we were to sit together and draw up a covenant instead of reciting some vows?  How would that sound?

Maybe like this…

We enter into this marriage in order to walk together through life as one flesh, joined together until death. We look to Jesus, who holds all things together, to meet our needs and to help and council us as we seek His Kingdom first.

I, (groom), will love you, (bride), as Jesus loved the church. I will give myself up for you, nourishing and cherishing you as I do my own body.  I will treat you with gentleness and understanding, and honor you as a fellow heir.

I, (bride), I will love and respect you, (groom), as my spiritual head and submit myself to you as to the Lord. I will adorn myself with a gentle and quiet spirit.

We will love each other, not as defined by the world but as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. We will do nothing from selfish desires, but will, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bear with each other in love as we pursue the peace and unity of the Spirit. We will apologize when we fail, forgive as Christ forgives us, pray for each other, and use the gifts we have received from the Holy Spirit to build each other up.

This covenant or set of vows, which elaborates om and paints a clearer picture of the traditional “to have and to hold” vows, would help us think seriously about entering into marriage, and set clear expectations.. It won’t be easy to keep but being Biblical; it comes with the promise that God will help us. It is also easy to find. I made my vows more than forty years ago, and I can’t remember now anything I said that day. But if I had made a covenant such as the one above, I wouldn’t have to try to remember. It would be right there in the Bible to read as often as I needed to.

It’s too late for those of us who have already made unrealistic or vague vows we can’t, haven’t, or have trouble keeping. But what if we recommitted to each other with a new, God-powered covenant? How would that affect our marriages going into the future?

It might be worth a try.

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Scriptures (there are a lot of them)

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2

When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isiah 41:10

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish^. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.1 Peter 3:1-5

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12:7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working James 5:16

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound in every good work… 2 Corinthians 9:8