Tag: christian

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 5 Biblical Marriage Vows

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

A vow is a solemn, voluntary, one-party promise, usually to God, to perform a specific action.

On the other hand, a covenant is a formal, binding, and often unconditional agreement between two or more parties – marriage; God and His people – often involving long-term, mutual commitment.

Would we take our wedding vows more seriously if we were to sit together and draw up a covenant instead of reciting some vows?  How would that sound?

Maybe like this…

We enter into this marriage in order to walk together through life as one flesh, joined together until death. We look to Jesus, who holds all things together, to meet our needs and to help and council us as we seek His Kingdom first.

I, (groom), will love you, (bride), as Jesus loved the church. I will give myself up for you, nourishing and cherishing you as I do my own body.  I will treat you with gentleness and understanding, and honor you as a fellow heir.

I, (bride), I will love and respect you, (groom), as my spiritual head and submit myself to you as to the Lord. I will adorn myself with a gentle and quiet spirit.

We will love each other, not as defined by the world but as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. We will do nothing from selfish desires, but will, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bear with each other in love as we pursue the peace and unity of the Spirit. We will apologize when we fail, forgive as Christ forgives us, pray for each other, and use the gifts we have received from the Holy Spirit to build each other up.

This covenant or set of vows, which elaborates om and paints a clearer picture of the traditional “to have and to hold” vows, would help us think seriously about entering into marriage, and set clear expectations.. It won’t be easy to keep but being Biblical; it comes with the promise that God will help us. It is also easy to find. I made my vows more than forty years ago, and I can’t remember now anything I said that day. But if I had made a covenant such as the one above, I wouldn’t have to try to remember. It would be right there in the Bible to read as often as I needed to.

It’s too late for those of us who have already made unrealistic or vague vows we can’t, haven’t, or have trouble keeping. But what if we recommitted to each other with a new, God-powered covenant? How would that affect our marriages going into the future?

It might be worth a try.

Scriptures (there are a lot of them)

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:6-9

If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth. Numbers 30:2

When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isiah 41:10

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.1 Peter 3:1-5

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12:7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working James 5:16

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound in every good work… 2 Corinthians 9:8

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 4 Marriage God’s Way

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. When to get married, when not to get married, why get married, the roles of each spouse, and how to treat each other. Based on this, marriage must be either important to God or problematic for people. I think it’s both.

Marriage is important to God because it is a picture of Jesus’ relationship with us, His church. The love and faithfulness, service and fellowship that He gives and wants in return is how He planned marriages to be – with one big difference: He is faithful even when we are not.

Marriage is problematic for people for two reasons. One is because we are generally self-centered. Whether we realize it or not, we live as if the world revolves around us. If we go into marriage with this mindset, we will eventually feel let down or betrayed.

The other reason is our expectations. We may serve people for a time – food banks, mission trips, volunteer opportunities – not expecting much in return. We may look to others – friends, family, nonprofits, government – to meet our needs knowing they may not always be able to. But we tend to expect more out of our spouses even though they have the same weaknesses as everyone else. Could that higher expectation be part of the reason?

In biblical marriages we are encouraged to treat each other as Jesus treats us – not as we treat each other. We are encouraged to look to Jesus to fill all our needs – not expect our spouse to carry that load. We are encouraged to forgive each other like Jesus forgives us – daily, without holding a grudge, and without keeping score. And we are encouraged to serve each other, to think of our spouse over our own desires – like Jesus did for us when He lived and died for us.

What would happen if we entered into a marriage with these goals in mind? How would our vows be shaped by these goals?

 That’s what I will explore in the final part, Part 5.

Scriptures

For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name Isaiah 54:5a  

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. Isaiah 54:5 

 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Revelation 19:7-9

I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 2 Corinthians 11:2

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Heb 13:4

Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctity her, having cleansed her by the washing of water and the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 3 Statistics

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

The good news is that the divorce rate in the US is declining. However, the marriage rate is also declining. (See statistics at the end of this blog.) More people are waiting until late in life or never to get married. Many of these people are living with someone instead of marrying them. When these relationships break up, the number is not added to the divorce rate since they were never married. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t experiencing the same difficulties of a married couple. The number of couples (married and unmarried) seeking marriage counseling instead of jumping into divorce is increasing which is also lowering the divorce rate.

The bad news is that the divorce rate is still high. Some put it at almost 50%. And sadly, Christian marriages do not have better numbers. In fact, Christians are slightly more likely to divorce than nonChristians. (see statistics at the end of this blog.)

This is not what Jesus intended for us. He gave us through His Word the dos and don’ts of marriages and the power of the Holy Spirit to live it out. So why aren’t we? I think that our wedding vows may have something to do with it.

We often make unbiblical and unrealistic promises that form a vision of what life together will look like. It sets our expectations high – too high for most people to keep long term. Then we get hurt, disappointed, disillusioned. It’s even worse when we compare our marriage to those in movies, books, social media, and in the couples around us. We start thinking about our marriage and think, “This is not what it’s supposed to be.” My spouse is not as romantic as the one in the movie last night, doesn’t provide for all my desires like the one in the book I just finished reading, and doesn’t serve me breakfast in bed on our anniversary like my friend’s spouse does. This is not the life I signed up for.

What we often don’t look at is how we tend to treat our spouses the way they treat us, often misinterpreting their motives and actions. If asked, our spouse may make the same complaints about us and come to the same conclusion about our marriage as we did. Many couples at this point decide to call it quits. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

In Part 4 we’ll take a look at marriage from a Christian perspective.

Some statistics for those who are interested in such things:

Wilkinson and Finkbeiner  (https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/)

As of 2021, both marriage rates AND divorce rates in the US are decreasing – with the marriage rate dropping from 8.2 per 1,ooo people in 2000 to 6.1 and the divorce rate from 4.0 in 2000 to 2.7. The breakdown shows that almost 50 percent of all marriages in the US will end in divorce or separation. 41 percent of first marriages, 60 percent of second marriages, and 73 percent of third marriages will end in divorce. The US has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world

Why are people divorcing? According to the Wilkinson and Finkbeiner, a recent national survey showed that lack of commitment is the most common reason.  Other reasons are:

  • Lack of commitment 73%
  • Argue too much 56%
  • Infidelity 55%
  • Married too young 46%
  • Unrealistic expectations 45%
  • Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
  • Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
  • Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%

(Respondents often cited more that one reason, therefore the percentages add up to much more than 100 percent)

Barna (https://www.barna.com/trends/marriage-divorce-trends-2025/)

Christians—even practicing Christians, who regularly attend church and say their faith is important to them—are as likely as other adults to say they have gone through divorce.

  • 20% nonpracticing Christians
  • 16% practicing Christians  
  • 16% non-Christians

My Denver Therapy (https://mydenvertherapy.com/couples-therapy-statistics/)

  • Almost 50% of married couples have gone to counseling at some point in their relationship. 
  • The median couple starts couples therapy about 4 years into the relationship. The highest percentage of couples in marriage counseling have been married between 3 and 5 years. Many say they wish they didn’t wait so long to start.
  • About 75% of couples who go to counseling see an improvement in their relationship, and 90% see an improvement in their physical or mental health. One study had 99% of couples currently in therapy say that it had a positive impact on their relationship. 

Scriptures

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:20

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 2 Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

Have you ever stopped to really consider the promises being recited at a wedding? What if we could see into the future and then recite our vows with that in mind. What if we said the quiet part out loud? In the world, it might sound like this.

I take you…

to have and to hold, (except when you make me mad or when I am too tired or when you come in from cutting the grass all dirty and smelly or before you brush your teeth in the morning…)

 in good times and bad, (except when the bad times make you irritable, angry, or depressed or are happening because you did something stupid)

for richer and for poorer, (except when you spend all our money and max out the credit cards or because you lost your job and have many excuses why you can’t find another one…)

in sickness and in health. (except when it causes me to become your caretaker, like if you became paralyzed from an accident or developed dementia or an autoimmune disease…)

I promise to be faithful to you (as long as you are faithful to me and you keep up your appearances and you fulfill all my desires…)

and stand beside you in all things. (except when doing so will cause me to be too uncomfortable or when it cuts into my personal time)

I promise to keep laughing with you, (until your jokes get so old that all I can do is groan)

crying with you, (after the first few dozen times, you’re on your own)

and never stop finding new ways to make you smile. (except when you stop finding new ways to make me smile)

I will love, (until the emotion goes away)

honor, (as long as you are honorable and do the right things)

and cherish you (except when I take you for granted because I’m too busy thinking about myself)

all the days of our lives. (maybe most of the days, but the nights are mine)

In Part 3, we’ll take a look at some statistics.

Scriptures:

For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17 

Do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath, for all these things I hate, declares the Lord.”  Zechariah 8:17

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. Colossians 2:8

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Wedding Vows Can Be Hazardous to Your Marriage Part 1 Overview

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

We’ve all heard them. Sweet, love filled promises from one person to another before saying “I do.”  Some are serious, others are humorous. Some are long, some are short. Some are read from papers in trembling fingers, others are recited from the heart. But they all have one thing in common: the person saying them truly believes what they are saying. And usually, so does the recipient.

The promises in wedding vows – to always be there, to support, to respect, love, and encourage each other, etc. – are not in themselves bad. It’s okay to say and pursue them, but when we put our hope and trust in them, it can create expectations that might not be sustainable. What happens when jobs are lost, spouses lie or cheat, life goals change and conflict with each other, and love grows cold? What happens to the marriage when these wonderful-sounding expectations aren’t met?

Another problem in many wedding vows is that they are self-focused. “I love you because you make me feel good.” I love you because you encourage me with I’m feeling down.” I love how your smile lights up my heart.” If a person goes into a marriage with the expectation that their spouse fills their needs, what happens when the spouse gets sick or depressed or busy or overwhelmed – and can no longer meet these needs?

Third, vows are usually easy to keep in the early years. Then children arrive. And jobs are lost. And illnesses rage. And interests change. And more children arrive. And temptations sneak in. The promises made in the beginning are forgotten in the stress of managing busy lives. What used to makes us smile about the other becomes buried under layers of disappointments, failures, and age-related physical and mental changes.  We trusted that our partner would make our lives better and be there when things were tough. But as the years go by, little by little, one small failure after another, resentment and accusations can slowly creep into our hearts – and often out of our mouths. “You promised to make me smile every day! Well, I’m not smiling now as you play golf leaving me to struggle with our bills.”

The high divorce rate in this country, even in Christian marriages, is evidence of broken promises and unfilled expectations.

So should we set up our marriages to fail from the beginning by making promises we can’t keep? There are many warnings in the Bible about keeping vows made to God, and I would think that vows made in the deliberate presence of God would carry a similar weight. So, should vows be eliminated from a wedding?

No, I don’t think so. But I do think they should be changed.

  • Promises of what you will do in the future? You don’t know what the future holds.
  • Reasons why you love the person you’re marrying? Those reasons may become moot as your spouse changes.
  • Ways your feel loved by your future spouse? Those reasons may become buried under the concerns and burdens of everyday life.

It’s okay to describe when you knew you wanted to get married or how the other person makes you feel in the present. It’s okay to state what you want to do in the future for the other person. But none of these should be promises. Instead, what if we focused on what God will do? He’s the only one who can fulfill all of His promises and meet all of our needs.

What if a wedding vow sounded more like this:

I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you in good times and bad. I want to help you when you are down, and celebrate with you when you are up. I want to support you, grow with you, and live your dreams with you. The best way I know to accomplish this is by the strength and help that God gives me. Therefore, I promise to always keep God the center of our marriage. I promise to abide in Jesus so that I will be able to love you with the love and strength He provides. I promise to obey God’s word as it relates to marriage, and to be accountable to you for that. I promise to pray for you and for our marriage each day. Looking to Jesus to strengthen me, equip me, counsel me, and to meet all my needs, I will be free to serve you without expecting anything back. I will be free to love you as you are and as you will be as you grow and change. Together, with Jesus, I look forward to walking into the future with you.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – saying the quiet part out loud.

Scriptures:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:13-17

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isiah 41:10

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. Nahum 1:7

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:4-5

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence… 2 Peter 1:3

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound in every good work… 2 Corinthians 9:8

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 1 Timothy 6:17

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16

Me Do It!

On By LindaIn allegories, analogies, and parables, My ThoughtsLeave a comment
Photo by Polesie Toys on Pexels.com

My heart hurt as I watched my two-year-old granddaughter’s growing frustration as she struggled to fit a plastic shape into its hole. She had gotten the star and heart shapes into their openings but the triangle just wouldn’t fit into the square opening. She had gone from sliding the triangle back and forth across the opening to trying to force it with every bit of small might she had. I yearned to share my knowledge with her but each offer to help was met with a defiant, “No! Me do it!”

“There’s a special hole for each shape…” I started only to be interrupted with, “No! Me do it!”

“You can’t fit a triangle into…”  was cut off with “No! Me do it!”

“Here, let me show you…” was answered with a growl. “No! Me do it!”

So I sat back and let her work. If only she would listen.

Angry tears now filled her eyes as she pushed even harder. Failing that, she began slamming the poor triangle onto the opening. Over and over she tried. Over and over she failed until she couldn’t stand it anymore.

With a scream, she threw the triangle across the room.

I held out my arms. “Come here, baby.” Sobs racked her tiny body as she clung to me. Sitting there on the floor, I rocked her until her breathing slowed, her tears dried, and she was once again at peace.

You would think that the next time she played with that toddler toy set, she was more willing to allow me to help her. But no.  Again she insisted on doing it herself, getting upset in the process, and ending in my lap sobbing out her frustration.

Eventually, one day, she accepted my help. Then, with a triumphant smile, she gently pushed the triangle piece into the triangle opening.

I wonder if we don’t do the same thing to God. He knows how things work. He knows how to solve problems. But we think we can figure it all our on our own. We think if we work hard enough and long enough, we can solve all our problems. We ignore God’s way to create our own way.

When we do this as an individual, it’s called rebellion.

When we do this as a society, it’s called humanism.

This is Google’s summary of humanism based on American Humanist Association’s definition: Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life that emphasizes human reason, ethics, and agency to find meaning and fulfillment. It is a secular worldview that affirms individual dignity and social responsibility, using science, art, and compassion to create a more just and compassionate world. Humanism does not include supernatural beliefs or theistic views. 

In other words, humanism, which is rampant through every part of society, is mankind saying to their Father, “Me do it!”

Why do we humans continue to strive to become equal to God regardless of the consequences? Didn’t Adam and Eve teach us anything?

Why do we humans think we know better or can do better than the One who created us? Cain certainly tried, and failed.

Why do we humans repeatedly try to serve a holy God our way like the Israelites did when moving the Ark of the Covenant?  Uzzah paid the price for that.

Why do we humans insist on creating an image of God that pleases us but not Him? The golden calf should have been a clear warning.

Why do we humans keep looking to ourselves to fill our needs? David knew from experience who to trust.

Why do we humans fight so hard to be independent of God? It never worked out well for the Israelites.

Some people have said: “Oh, that just happened in the Old Testament. Today is different.”

Is it?

Adam and Eve

For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise,[b] she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. Gen 3:4-7

Cain

In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, 4 and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, and you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:3-7

The Golden Calf

And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf. And they said, “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” When Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it. And Aaron made a proclamation and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to the Lord.” And they rose up early the next day and offered burnt offerings and brought peace offerings. And the people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play. And the Lord said to Moses, “Go down, for your people, whom you brought up out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves. They have turned aside quickly out of the way that I commanded them. They have made for themselves a golden calf and have worshiped it and sacrificed to it and said, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!’” And the Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked people. Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you.” Exodus 32:4-10

The Ark of the Covenant

And he cast for it four rings of gold for its four feet, two rings on its one side and two rings on its other side. And he made poles of acacia wood and overlaid them with gold 5 and put the poles into the rings on the sides of the ark to carry the ark. Exodus 37:3-4

And when Aaron and his sons have finished covering the sanctuary and all the furnishings of the sanctuary, as the camp sets out, after that the sons of Kohath shall come to carry these, but they must not touch the holy things, lest they die. These are the things of the tent of meeting that the sons of Kohath are to carry. Numbers 4:15

So Moses took the wagons and the oxen and gave them to the Levites. Two wagons and four oxen he gave to the sons of Gershon, according to their service. And four wagons and eight oxen he gave to the sons of Merari, according to their service, under the direction of Ithamar the son of Aaron the priest.  But to the sons of Kohath he gave none, because they were charged with the service of the holy things that had to be carried on the shoulder.  Numbers 7:6-9

David again gathered all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. And David arose and went with all the people who were with him from Baale-judah to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the name of the Lord of hosts who sits enthroned on the cherubim. And they carried the ark of God on a new cart and brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. And Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, were driving the new cart, with the ark of God, and Ahio went before the ark. And David and all the house of Israel were celebrating before the Lord, with songs and lyres and harps and tambourines and castanets and cymbals. And when they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah put out his hand to the ark of God and took hold of it, for the oxen stumbled. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah, and God struck him down there because of his error, and he died there beside the ark of God. 2 Samuel 6:1-7

Trust in God

Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright. Psalm 20:6-8

Comfortable Cages

On By LindaIn allegories, analogies, and parablesLeave a comment

Children face many challenges as they grow up. They count on the significant people in their lives to provide truth and guidance. They model themselves after these people, and take their words into their hearts. This is fine and good if the words are positive and truthful:

you are loved,

you’re worth my time and attention,

God made you perfect just the way you are,

you’re fun to be around,

you have a good mind.

But lies and half-truths can hurt the child’s heart:

no one likes you,

you are stupid,

you’re not worth the air you breathe,

you are a burden,

you can’t do anything right.

These lies form cage bars which, when reinforced over the years, keep a child securely bound.

That’s where I found myself at twenty years old. After years of unsuccessfully trying to break the bars, the lies I believed, I gave up. I was stuck in that cage. Death was the only way out. And so, I curled up in the corner and waited to die.

Then Jesus found me. He woke me up and told me He had removed the bars. He called me to the freedom He offered those who followed Him.

I celebrated the freedom. I danced around my cage with excitement and devotion to my Savior. I told everyone who came near me about the freedom that He paid for. I soaked in His love and loved Him back with all that I had.

But I didn’t leave the cage. The problem was I still saw the bars. The lies were still binding me because I believed the lies over the truth. They were more familiar. They made more sense. They felt right. They were what I was taught and were frequently being reinforced by people I respected. I must have misunderstood what Jesus had said. I questioned the definition of the words He used and convinced myself that He wasn’t talking about me. I was fine where I was no matter how hard it felt at times.

Over the years, fellow Christians told me they loved me. Some even got in the cage with me so they could feel what I did. They acknowledged the difficulties of my environment and offered me pillows and a blanket to make me more comfortable in my bondage.

But a few Christians loved me enough to continually redirect my attention to the bar-less doorway. They challenged, coaxed, and urged me to see the truth. They didn’t try to make my cage more comfortable. That would have just enabled me to stay where I was. They didn’t offer to stay in the cage with me, validating my belief about the bars. Instead, they confronted my choice to believe the lies and gave me the information I needed to gain freedom.

Which Christians loved me like Jesus loved people when He was on the earth?

Did Jesus come to free us from sin or to make us more comfortable in our cages?

I think people today confuse empathy with compassion. Empathy is feeling with, understanding, and sharing the feelings of another person – while compassion is feeling for them with the desire to help alleviate their suffering. Empathy is a feeling that often comes before compassion which turns that feeling into helpful action. Empathy is a feeling. Compassion is action.

Jesus has compassion on us. He feels deep sorrow for the pain our choices cause us. But He doesn’t leave us there. He paid the price to free us and He gave us His Word to counter the bars we see in front of us.

Jesus walked the earth with compassion. He didn’t enter anyone’s cages, agreeing with how hard and painful life was, and commending them for the ways they had made their cages more comfortable. Instead, He consistently called people out of their cages. He spoke the truth no matter how comfy the cage was. He offered freedom – not acceptance of their plight.

I have looked but cannot find any place in the Bible that Jesus affirmed the lives of sinful people and left it at that. He ate with them. He talked with them. He accepted them as beloved people.  But He called them out of their sin. He preached repentance. He told them to “sin no more”. He told His critics that He had come to the sick and the lost. He taught about the kingdom of heaven. He called them to follow Him and to tell others about Him. And He commissioned His followers to do the same.

I hear frequently that we need to love all people like Jesus did. I totally agree. However, if we’re going to love people like Jesus did, then let’s love people like Jesus really did. Not how modern culture says He did. Now how our personal convictions make us feel He did. Not how other people claim He did. But how the Bible shows He did. Let’s compassionately and courageously love people enough to call them out of their cages and into the arms of their Savior.

Scriptures

Sin is Bondage and Leads to Death

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. John 8:34 

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? Romans 6:16 

Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is expelled? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” Matthew 15:17-20 

Why Jesus Came

From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Matthew 4:17 

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19 

And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17 

… God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. Acts 10:38 

Repentance

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect Matthew 5:48 

Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” John 5:14 

Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]] John 8:10-11 

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23 

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:29 

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 

Don’t Sin Yourself as You Help Others Out of Their Cages

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! 2 Corinthians 13:5 

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4 

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Matthew 7:3 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 

Directions from Jesus

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20 

That is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:19 

The Authority of the Bible

Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. John 17:17 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 

Charlie Kirk – My Reaction

On By LindaIn My ThoughtsLeave a comment

I have read with increasing sadness the reactions on both sides.

Conservatives say Charlie Kirk is a martyr. He spoke the truth and allowed others to voice their disagreements.

Liberals say Charlie Kirk held mock debates spewing hate and misinformation towards many groups of people. He deserved to die.

What does God say about our attitudes towards others?

Do not devise evil in your hearts against one another… for all these things I hate, declares the LORD.” Zechariah 8:17

You shall not murder.  Exodus 20:13

Murder comes from an evil heart. Matthew 15:19

Satan is the father of murderers. John 8:44

A murderer does not have eternal life in him. 1 John 3:16

Hating is murdering. 1 John 3:15

I can understand in some degree the differing reactions of non-Christians. But Christians who support and even celebrate the murder of someone they disagreed with baffle me. Do they not know what the Bible says? Do they not know what the Lord they pledged their lives to commands them to do?

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:43-48

Even getting extremely angry at another person makes you liable for judgment. Matthew 5:20-22

We as Christ-followers are free to disagree with each other – but not free to harm each other. The murder of Charlie Kirk should elicit a unified cry for the life of a brother – not a debate on whether he deserved to die. And we should not be attacking each other over our reactions. Where is the love by which we will be known as belonging to Jesus?

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar: 1 John 4:20a

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 1 John 2:9

They profess to know God, but deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work. Titus 1:16

Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and not do what I tell you? Luke 6:46

The Bible has a word for those who claim to be Christ-followers while hating their brothers – hypocrite. And he warns that He will turn His face from them.

You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.” Matthew 15:7-9

Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, make offerings to Baal, and go after the other gods that you have not known, and then come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, ‘We are delivered! – only to go on doing all these abominations?… I will cast you out of my sight… Jeremiah 7:8-10, 15a

But to the wicked God says: “What right have you to recite my statutes or take my covenant on your lips? Psalm 50:16

When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you, even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Isaiah 1:15

When are we going to get off the fence between God’s ways and man’s ways? When are we going to deny what we want (think) and become obedient to what Christ wants (commands)? When are we going to stop loving as the world does and start loving as Jesus does?

Lord God, I pray for the people of this nation. For all people, but especially for the people who claim You as their God. Forgive us for our hypocrisy. Fill us with Your love for those who disagree with us and open our eyes to see past the darkness that surrounds us to the light of Your truth. Help us to love those we perceive as enemies and to let you handle their judgment. May you be our God and mean it when we call You “Lord”.

Amen

Open Your Eyes – Lord; An Allegory

On By LindaIn Open Your Eyes2 Comments
Photo by Boryslav Shoot on Pexels.com

Darlene sighed as she straightened. “There,” she said, “The weeds are gone.”

Brandi looked around. “There’s still so much to do. I wonder why the lady let her yard get so bad. Good thing you decided to help her.”

Darlene brushed the dirt off her jacket. “Well, Mr. Evans asked me to so here I am. I’m going to go ask what he wants me to do next.”

Brandi pointed. “I don’t know Mr. Evans but I’m happy to help out. I’ll trim those bushes. I don’t know if spring is the right season, but it’s easier to trim the branches before the leaves start growing. “

“He didn’t say anything about the bushes but I guess it’s okay. It does need to be done.” Darlene opened the back gate. “Be back soon.”

Brandi put on a pair of gloves and picked up the shears just as a man walked through the back gate. He waved when he saw her and headed in her direction.

“Hi, Seth! You made it!”

Seth nodded, “I couldn’t let my friend do all this by herself, could I?” He looked around. “You’re not kidding. This place is a mess.”

“Darlene said that Mr. Evans said it needed to be cleaned up. I pulled the weeds and am about to trim the bushes.”

“I think the patio needs to be hosed and scrubbed, too. I’ll go do that.”

“Good idea.” Brandi walked to the side fence and began snipping the bush branches while Seth found a broom in the shed and began sweeping.

By the time Darlene returned, the bushes were trimmed, the patio clean, the raised garden bed filled with compost and topsoil, and the leaves raked.

“Wow,” Darlene called to the two friends. “You’ve done so much!”

“Where have you been?” Brandi asked. “I thought you were just going to ask Mr. Evans what to do next.”

“I did ask him. He told me to help the people in the front yard first. They were planting a tree and needed another set of hands. And then to come back here and check for dog poop.”  She walked to the shed. “There’s supposed to be a poop-scooper in here.”

“Ew,” Brandi held her nose. “You can have that job. I’m going to clean the patio furniture.” She called to Seth, “Did you happen to see a bucket and some rags in the shed when you were in there?”

“Yes, the rags are on the shelf and there’s a bucket next to the door.”

The clanging of a dinner bell stopped all three helpers.

“Yay!” Darlene cheered. “Time for lunch!” She headed for the back door.

“I’m starving!” Brandi said as she joined Darlene.

“Me, too.!” Seth echoed as he joined the girls.

The back door opened just as they got there.

Mr. Evans motioned to Darlene. “Come and get it! The barbeque chicken is hot on the stove and there are fresh rolls from the oven.”

Darlene grinned and entered the house. Seth and Brandi tried to follow but Mr. Evans stopped them.

“Sorry, but this is for friends and family only.”

“But we helped out! Didn’t we trim the bushes, pull weeds, clean the patio and rake the leaves?”

Mr. Evans shook his head. “I don’t know you. ” He pointed to the back gate .”You’ll need to leave.” Then he went inside, closing the door firmly behind him.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who des the will of my Father who is in heaven.  On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And I will declare to them, ‘I never know you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ Matthew 7:21-23

When I read Matthew 7:21-23, I’m struck by two things. One is that Jesus told these people who did things in His name that He never knew them. The other is that He attached the word ‘many’ to that. Does that mean many church-going Christians are not going to make it into the kingdom of heaven? That thought is sobering.

Doing things in the name of Jesus is not the same thing as making Him Lord of your life. You can go to church, sign up for mission trips, help out in community outreach programs, and take food to the homebound without submitting yourself to His Lordship. Without this submission, all you have is religion. Religion does not get you into heaven. Only Jesus can do that – and only when you’ve made Him your Lord and Savior.

Lord AND Savior, not Lord OR Savior.

Making Him Lord is not reciting a certain prayer or just calling Him Lord. Making Him Lord means to give yourself to Him heart, soul and body. You put yourself under His Lordship. You don’t live for yourself anymore – you live for Him. You give up what you want to do and do what He tells you to do.

Have you done that? Does Jesus know you?

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? – unless indeed you fail to meet the test! 2 Corinthians 13:5

Open Your Eyes – What Would Jesus Do?

On By LindaIn Open Your EyesLeave a comment
Photo by Nothing Ahead on Pexels.com

WWJD. It used to be a big thing years ago, but I still see it around today.

To know what Jesus would do in any situation, we first need to know who Jesus is and what He did when He was here on Earth.

Jesus is the Son of God who came to earth for a time. He is God in human form (Philippians 2:8). He created everything – including us (John 1:1-3). He is sovereign over all (Eph 1:20-21). Seeing Jesus is seeing the Father (John 14:9a).

Jesus loves people. He loves us so much that He died for us in order to restore our relationship with the Father (Romans 5:10-11). This shows that love means value. He values us enough to pay the painful price for our sins.

Contrary to many popular declarations, Jesus did not come here to love us as it is defined today. He didn’t walk around accepting and supporting everyone and their behaviors and choices. He was clear that sin led to death (Matt 18:8-9). He got quite angry at some of the choices people made such as hypocrisy (Matthew 23:1-36), greed and irreverence (Mark 11:15-17) and leading others to sin (Luke 17:1-2).

 “But He ate with sinners,” many people say. “He didn’t judge them.” It is true that He ate with sinners, but not to show His acceptance or support of their sin. He ate with them to call them to repentance (Matt 5:30-32). In fact, His ministry revolved around calling people to repentance (Matthew 4:17). He even sent out His disciples to call other towns to repentance (Mark 6:12). As He preached and taught Jesus healed and delivered and fed people who came to Him, but always with the same message. He told the woman caught in adultery to sin no more (John 8:11). He told the crippled man that He healed the same thing (John 5:14).

He helped many people but not everyone. He didn’t help the widow who gave her last coins (Mark 12:42-44). He didn’t help non-Jews (Luke 15:24). Even with the Jews, the Bible often used the word ‘many’ instead of ‘all’. When asked one time, He said He only did what He saw His Father doing (John 5:19). He also didn’t help/heal everyone the same way and He didn’t feed every crowd.

When Jesus returns, He will not be coming as a meek and mild baby. He will not be forgiving and calling us to repentance. He is coming back with fire in His eyes to judge the world. He is angry and will be exacting vengeance on those who have continued in their sinful choices (Rev 19:12a, 15).

So what would Jesus do in today’s society?

He would spend His time calling people to repentance and teaching about the kingdom of heaven.

He would value people but not accept and support every lifestyle and choice. He would point out the danger of sin and warn of its penalty while enjoying time with them as people created in God’s image.

He would spend time with most people, not avoid them. Most because religious hypocrisy and leading others to sin were exceptions. He wouldn’t spend time with them but would call them out on their behavior.

He would help people but only as the Father led Him. His first criteria would be to seek His Father’s will, and then treat each person as an individual.

He would pray. A lot. His relationship with the Father would come before everything else. And it was through of His relationship with His Father that He could do everything else.

Now the question becomes WWYD – What Will You Do?

Philippians 2:8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

John 1:1-3 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.

Eph 1:20-21 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

John 14:9a Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.

Romans 5:10-11 For if while we were still enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Matt 18:8-9 And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

Mark 11:15-17 And they came to Jerusalem. And he entered the temple and began to drive out those who sold and those who bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. And he would not allow anyone to carry anything through the temple. And he was teaching them and saying to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations’? But you have made it a den of robbers.”

Luke 17:1-2 And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.

Matt 5:30-32  And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

Matthew 4:17 From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Mark 6:12 And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.” So they went out and proclaimed that people should repent.

John 8:11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither to I condemn you; go, and from now on sin nor more.”

John 5:14  Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.”

Mark 12:42-44 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all  those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

Luke 15:24  He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

John 5:19 So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.”

Rev 19:12a, 15 His eyes are like a flame of fire… From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.