She knew she deserved it. But she wasn’t looking forward to it. “How badly does God yell at someone anyway? As bad as my dad?” she wondered. “God could get pretty rough with the Israelites.”
She thought back to what she had done earlier that day. God had told her not to share a particular book with a friend. But she thought she knew better and argued with Him. “She needs this message, Lord! I AM going to share it with her today at church!” But her friend hadn’t been at church. So God had won. And she felt really bad. Not just a sad or disappointed bad, but a distance-from-God kind of bad.
He was angry at her, she was sure. She could feel something unpleasant in her spirit. Probably Him scolding me, she thought. She tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. In fact, it grew stronger as the day progressed until she couldn’t avoid dealing with it anymore.
She took a deep breath, and prayed, “OK, Lord, I’m ready to listen. Let me have it.”
His answer was not what she expected. Instead of the angry voice she was expecting, He spoke in a gentle whisper.
“I won’t ever ‘let you have it’. I will never scold you. But I will let you know when you’ve strayed. The feeling you got today was caused by your rebellion – not My scolding. I was not withholding My love. However, our connection was broken when you closed your ears. You didn’t want to listen so I had to get stronger until you couldn’t ignore Me any longer. I have promised to help you stay on the path, to not stray. So when you do, I will let you know. Others who have not given their lives so completely to Me – who have not given Me the permission you have – can sometimes wander a while before calling on Me. But you have given yourself to Me completely, and in return, I made you a promise. Do you want Me to change this?”
She was amazed at the sense of security that filled her with His words. She belonged to Him and He would always be there looking out for her. Even when she was the one to cause the problem.
“No, Lord. I don’t. I am completely Yours, whatever the cost. Thank You for Your promise, and for Your tight rein on me. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”