Failing Does Not Make Me a Failure

She woke up at midnight and couldn’t get back to sleep, so she stayed up.

Failed at sleeping.

She took her early morning walk but got tired so cut it short.

Failed at walking.

She tried to transfer some photos from her phone to her desk top computer, but phone wouldn’t recognize the computer.

Failed at picture transferring

She ate her normal breakfast and lunch, then continued eating everything she could find throughout the afternoon.

Failed at dieting.

She attached a zipper onto the tote bag she was making, only the fabric got pinched and the stitching was uneven.

Failed at zipper attaching.

She hemmed a pillow she was making, taking four tries to get it passable – not good, but not bad enough to try again.

Failed at hemming

She thought about doing her afternoon walk, but couldn’t make herself go.

Failed at walking, again.

She tried to clean up a pile of clutter, but got overwhelmed and stopped.

Failed at clutter removing.

I’m such a failure, she thought.

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“You’re not a failure with Me.” came the quick but soft voice she had come to recognize.

As she thought about those words, she gratefully realized that she may have experienced many failures that day, but SHE was not a failure in the eyes of God.

God knew just what to say and just when to say it. Amazing what a difference those few words made!

The Gray Cat and Her Space: An Allegory (or maybe a Parable)

The gray cat loved her space. This space under the living room table. The floor length white tablecloth hid her from everyone, giving her a sense of security. This was her happy place. This was where she was most comfortable.

She spent as much time there as she could. Sometimes she would be enticed to go out – when her owner or when nature called – but as soon as she could, she would scamper back under the table. She didn’t like it outside her space. It was too big and cold and things kept changing out there. Not like this small, warm, dark, consistent place she had made her own.

One day she heard a new sound. Not like the sounds made by the people who lived there. This was a very quiet sound. Almost like a whisper. Like whispery soft footsteps moving about the room. Curious, the gray cat peeked out from under the edge of the tablecloth. She couldn’t believe her eyes – there was another cat in the room! A black and white cat who seemed to see everything as he wandered around.

The gray cat ducked back under the tablecloth. Did he see her? Hopefully not. Maybe he wouldn’t think to look under the tablecloth. Maybe he’ll just continue on through the room and out the other door. Who was he anyway? Did her owner get another cat? Heaven forbid! The last thing she wanted to do was share her space.

The tablecloth moved, then the edge lifted and his soft black eyes looked in. She closed IMG_20180518_205030007her eyes and pretended not to be there. Maybe he won’t see her in the dim light. But he did and came all the way in. How dare he? This was her place, made just the way she wanted it. And here he was threatening to change it! No way could she allow this!

She attacked. There was a wild scuffling for a few minutes. She fought with everything she had until he had had enough and ran off. She watched him go, smirking and satisfied with herself. This was her place, and no one, not even him, was going to change it.

 

Have you figured out the meaning behind the story?

If you want to try figuring it out by yourself, stop reading here.

 

Still reading?

Good! Here’s the meaning I had in mind.

the gray cat is us, Christians

the table and tablecloth is our set of beliefs and values that we’ve formed and are comfortable with

the living room is life

the black and white cat is God’s truth

God’s truth will seek us out no matter where we are in life. But we don’t always welcome God’s truth when it arrives. We often chase it away from our comfortable place so we can continue living life the way we want it and so we don’t have to change. We will even fight to keep from changing.

 

So… what do you think?  I would love to hear what you got from the story. Do you have another interpretation?

Make my day by leaving a comment below. 🙂

An Anointing Experience

“God, what does the anointing feel like?” she prayed late one night. “I hear preachers talking about it but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it. Could You give me an ‘anointing’ experience?”

She knew believers were supposed to seek God, not experiences. She knew those who did seek after experiences tended to end up in bad places, many times dragging other people with them. She didn’t want that, but she was curious about what the preachers were talking about. So she dared the prayer, then went to sleep.

The next morning she woke feeling really bad. Tired from going to bed late, she was also feeling sick. The slight cold she had had the day before had developed into a full fledged head cold. Struggling to get up, she thought about calling in sick and just staying home. But staying home was not an really an option that day. There were things she needed to do that no one else could do for her.

“God, You’re going to have to get me through this day. I can’t do it and I don’t even want to try.” she mumbled as she got dressed.

Having no appetite, she skipped breakfast, got in her car, and headed to work.

Once there, she forgot everything as she got busy with the multitude of tasks a teacher has to perform each day. The students were rowdy as usual, but she found herself enjoying their antics and laughing with them instead of scolding.

“What’s going on?” her friend asked her at lunch.

“Nothing,” she responded, confused. “Why?”

“You just seem to be in such a good mood. I’ve never seen you smile so much.”

“Yeah, I am in a good mood. That’s weird because I have a cold and I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like that from my end.”

She thought about it as the afternoon progressed. Her friend was right. She was in a really good mood. She felt strong, confident and easy going – like everything was just a walk in the park. She was getting a ton of work done, and was even able to give her more difficult students the attention and time they craved. She liked the feeling.

At the end of the day, as the last student left, she felt all that strength, the good feelings, drain out of her until she was feeling exactly like she did when she woke that morning.

And she remembered her prayer just before she had fallen asleep the night before. Amazing! God had granted her request – her whole day had been an ‘anointing’ experience!

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“Thank You,” she prayed gratefully as she drove home. “Now if You could just make my cold go away…”

I Think There Were Angels Here

“That’s the last of them,” she told her husband as she dropped a board on the stack of boards in their back yard.

He looked up from where he was setting up his saw. “I’m ready here.  The first thing we need to do is dig the holes.”

“Why can’t we just build it on top of the ground? It’s going to be heavy enough not to blow over.”

“It may not blow over in normal wind, but it wouldn’t stand a chance in a hurricane. Besides, do you want to chance it falling over with our kids on it? ”

“No, of course not. I just don’t see how it could fall over.”

“Trust me. We need the holes. And they need to be about two and a half feet deep.”

Sighing, she picked up the hold digger. She hated digging holes. “Here, you do it,” she told him.

She watched as he got busy, handing him the ax whenever he ran into a thick root.  They had decided to build a free standing tree house close to a young tree. She had wanted to wait until the tree matured a bit more and nail it to the tree, but the kids were growing too and she wanted them to have the tree house while they were still young enough to enjoy it. Besides, her husband had pointed out, the tree was tall enough for its branches to extend over the tree house giving the illusion of being in the tree while not putting any stress on the young tree itself.

When he got about two feet down, water began filling the hole.

“I’ve hit the water table,” he said. “I don’t know how much further I’ll be able to go. Hopefully this will be deep enough.”

After attempting to dig past the water, he gave up and started on the next hole. When he finished all four holes, sweat was pouring down his face and he moaned as he stretched his arms and back.

“That was hard,” she said.

He just looked at her.

“What’s next?” she asked.

“We build a side, then stand it up and slide the posts down into the holes.”

“OK, what do I do?”

“Hold this,” he said as he laid a 2x2x5 across two saw horses. She held the board firm as he measured then cut it to fit between the two 4×4 posts that would be going into the holes. He cut a second one to match the first.

“Now what?” she asked.

“Hold this,” he said, laying one of the cut boards across two of the 4×4 posts. As she kept the board from shifting position, he nailed it down securely, then placed another 2x2x5 across the posts, a little ways from the first post.  “There,” he said. “Now grab that side and I’ll get this side. Stand it up slowly.”

She took her position and between them, they got the side to stand up, then managed to pick it up, and slide the posts into two of the holes. As she held the side up, he backfilled the holes, tapping the dirt down firmly every six inches until both holes were filled. She let go of the side and it stood there straight and tall.

“Perfect,” he said. “Now for the second one.”

They repeated the process only this time it didn’t end as well. As they were sliding the posts into the holes, he lost his grip and the side began swaying. IMG_20180516_195405657

“Hold on!” he said, trying to get a good handle on the post.

“I can’t hold this!” she grunted. “It’s too heavy.”

His hand slipped again and the post began falling towards her.

“Watch out!” he yelled as he desperately tried to get a hold of the post.

But before she could move, the side came down right on top of her. It happened too quickly to take any evasive action and she felt the brunt of the weight land on her shoulder. He bad shoulder. The one that had been damaged back in high school and later had surgery to repair the recurrent dislocation.

Shocked, she stood there unmoving, not knowing what to do to avoid more injury.

“Don’t move. I’m going to get this off you,” he said.

But she couldn’t hold the weight any longer. She twisted in ways she would have thought were impossible for her until she managed to get the side on the ground.

“Are you OK?” he asked her.

She didn’t answer right away She just stared at the boards laying within inches of her feet, and thought, “I could have been killed.”

He went to her and checked for injuries. Your neck is a little red and I think you’re going to have a bruise there, but other than that I don’t see anything.”

“I could have been killed,” she said. “Or at least on my way to the hospital. ”

“But you weren’t. And you’re not.”

“How did those boards not hurt me? They weigh more than I do and they came straight down on me. And all I get is a bruise?”

“Praise God for that!”

She thought about it as they got back to work. After a while, with no more mishaps, they were able to finish the tree house. By the time they finished cleaning up, she thought she knew why she hadn’t been hurt enough to call 911.

“I think God knew this was going to happen,” she began.

“Of course He did. He knows everything,” her husband interrupted. “Nothing takes Him by surprise.”

“I think there were angels here,” she continued.  “I think they caught that side so it wouldn’t kill me. It’s amazing that I’m not even really hurt.  Do you think there could have been angels here?”

“Definitely. God charges some of his angels to protect us. Remember what it says in Psalm 91:11? “For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

“That’s right!” she agreed. “I do remember reading that. I just don’t think about it very much. But after today, I bet that’s going to change.”

Looking up to heaven, she said, “Thank You Father for Your angels, and for looking after Your daughter.”

“Amen,” her husband said.

And they went inside together to let their kids know the tree house was ready for them.

Three Day Quote Challenge – Day Three

This is the third and final day of the Three Day Quote Challenge, which I was nominated for three days ago by BIBLEBLOGGERGIRL  from Teen, Meet God 

This challenge takes place over three days. Each day (or night), I will share a quote I love and explain why I love it, then I will nominate one blogger per day to continue the challenge.

My third quote is this…

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“God is good even when you don’t feel it. ” from iBelieve.com.

So much of what we think is based on how we feel. This quote reminds me God is bigger than my emotions. His truth doesn’t change based on how I’m feeling.

God is GOD. He doesn’t fit in any of my boxes. He’s not bound by my feelings. He’s not limited by my understandings.

He is GOD.  And I am not.

The security that provides me is beyond measure!

 

My last nominee for the Three Day Quote Challenge is Amy Blount, at A New Life. I love how open and honest she is in her blogs. Such a strong, courageous, and encouraging woman!

Three Day Quote Challenge – Day Two

This is the second day of the Three Day Quote Challenge, which I was nominated for two days ago by BIBLEBLOGGERGIRL  from Teen, Meet God 

This challenge takes place over three days. Each day (or night), I will share a quote I love and explain why I love it, then I will nominate one blogger to continue the challenge.

My second quote is this…

“While you’re waiting, God is working.” by Rick Warren

God had done some incredible things in my life. But it seems in between those times, there are long seasons of waiting. I don’t know why we have to have those waiting seasons, although I have several theories, but what I do know is that there is a lot going on in heaven that I can’t see while I’m still on this earth. Yet, all too often, I rely on what I see instead of what I know is true.

Rick’s quote reminds me that God is not idle just because I don’t see constant amazing things. There’s a lot of behind-the-scenes activity going on every day!

Waiting is never easy or fun, but that doesn’t mean I have to be miserable while I wait.  🙂

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What helps you get through those seasons of waiting for God to do what He’s going to do? How do you spend that time? Share your thoughts – it just might be something someone needs to hear today!

 

And now for my nominee… His Perfect Timing.  Perfect timing… waiting on God – how could I not choose this very inspirational one!

Mary’s Heart in Martha’s Body

She couldn’t go back to sleep. Why did they say that? Did they think her friend loved Jesus more than she did? And here she was carrying the greater load in serving them? It was totally upsetting and hurtful to her and she resented them for it.

To be honest, she didn’t really get that bible story anyway. If Martha didn’t serve, who would? Certainly not Mary, who didn’t even lift a finger to help. Actually, she had always thought of Mary as being lazy and self-centered – she wanted to spend time with Jesus so she did, not caring in the least that she had left everything for her sister to carry. Forcing her sister to carry more than she should have had to carry. If Mary had stayed with Martha to help finish the preparations, they both could have sat at Jesus’ feet.

And she was being called a Martha? Like she would rather stay in the kitchen serving than be with Jesus? Like she didn’t love Him enough to want to spend time with Him?

She still didn’t get it – but what she did get was a revelation of her resentment towards people who forced her into the Martha role.  It wasn’t fair for them to do that to her. The injustice of it hurt her. That and other injustices done to her over the years, especially when she was a young child, kept returning to her as she lay in bed not sleeping.

So she did the only thing she knew to do. She prayed.

“Jesus, I don’t understand all this. All I know is it hurts. But I forgive them for saying what they did and ask that You deliver me from the resentment and pain that has filled me.”

She fell back asleep and dreamed of a barracuda. A poor innocent barracuda that was about to be sacrificed in the name of entertainment. Upset at the injustice, she went to the people in charge and told them it was wrong and that she would tell the authorities about it if they didn’t stop it.

She woke again, puzzled.

“Lord, what’s this about?”

“Injustice. You have been treated unfairly in life.  I can release you from the past, to free you for the future. Just don’t worry about things so much.”

“So I really am like Martha?” she asked, heart sinking.

“Yes, daughter. Sweet daughter,” He said, voice full of love. “You are like Martha in that you get so worked up about things. You don’t need to worry if things will get done.  I’ll make sure what needs to be done does get done. I am here, involved, and I will bring about all that needs to be done. Relax in Me. I will give you the desire to do the things I want you to do. The rest I can handle. Don’t sweat over it. ”

“Do I at least have Mary’s heart? I love listening to You.”

“Yes, you have Mary’s heart. I know your love for Me. But you have been forced into a role I didn’t create for you. IMG_20180511_161925872As you are freed from the past, you will be free to be who I made you to be.”

“How do I get free?”

“Give it to Me -your resentments , your pain. Continually give it to Me. Forgive those involved. Listen for My directions. Practice letting go. I won’t treat you unfairly. As you see My faithfulness, you will be able to relax more.”

As she got ready for the day, she thought about His words. And came up with a plan. When things had to get done, instead of trying to get everything to happen herself, she would say…

“I wonder how Jesus is going to make this happen.”

Then all she needed to do was wait and watch and listen. Like Mary.

Three Day Quote Challenge – Day One

I was nominated for this challenge by BIBLEBLOGGERGIRL  from Teen, Meet God  Thanks so much for the nomination, Shae.

As you may have guessed, this challenge takes place over three days. Each day, I will share a quote I love and explain why I love it, then I will nominate one blogger per day.

My first quote is this…

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“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” by Jack Canfield

I can’t think back far enough to know a time that I wasn’t full of fear. From my earliest days, I was terrified of the unknown. That included people, places, and events. If one of my few friends suggested a new game, fear would immediately fill me. If my family visited a new place, I would be nervous until the trip ended. Joining girl scouts was too scary to stay for long. Making new friends? Impossible. Fear kept me from so many things for so long that it became a intricate part of me. I couldn’t imagine not being afraid. Even after I met Jesus and He had time to work in me, fear remained. It’s been over 40 years now, and I’ve been set free in so many areas. Yet fear still rises its ugly head when I’m faced with something new. Like writing a blog. And publishing my first book. And meeting with a local writing group.

Sounds hopeless?

No way! Fear may still rise up at times, but it no longer incapacitates me.  Quotes like the one by Jack Canfield help me remember I’m not the only one who has to deal with fear, and that fear doesn’t have to hold me back. And best of all, Jesus is slowly teaching me to replace fear with faith.  He doesn’t want me – or you – or anyone – to live in fear.

And that’s the greatest hope of all because what Jesus wants Jesus eventually gets!

 

And now for my nominee… I choose William Pierce aka wordcoaster8550 at Walk With God. I love his artwork and poetry!

Sometimes Muddy Water is a Good Thing

 

Emotions churned inside her as she bowed before the Lord in prayer.

“Jesus, I don’t know what’s happening inside me. It’s such a mess. And I don’t even know why. Everything seems to be going well right now – job, family, health. So why all this turmoil?”

“Just a little cleaning up.”

She frowned, not understanding. How can cleaning up make her feel bad? She thought about it for a while. What exactly WAS she feeling? So many emotions all mixed up inside her. Pain and confusion from her teen years that still plagued her. Doubts that she was actually hearing from God and that it wasn’t just her imagination, and fear that she would lead others wrong as she began speaking out for Him.  Depression that seemed to cling to her no matter how hard she tried to fight it.  Very low self-esteem, more like no self-esteem.  The list seemed endless. She struggled to put a name to it.

“Muddy water.”

Muddy water?

She thought of her small garden pond. She enjoyed going outside to sit by it each day and watch the fish swim around. The pond looked beautiful – clear shiny water with green flowering plants growing in and around it. From time to time she would add a little water to compensate for the water that had evaporated.

She remembered a time she had not gone outside to the pond for several weeks. When she had finally made it there, she had been dismayed to find the water level to be as low IMG_20180510_000206722as it was. So she had taken the hose and watched as the water refilled the pond. Almost immediately the clear water had gotten cloudy as the running water churned up the dirt that had settled at the bottom.  Within minutes she could see leaves and pine straw swirling around in the very muddy water. Yuck. She decided to keep the water flowing and as the water flowed over the top, it had taken the mud, leaves and pine straw with it until all that had remained was clear clean water. Her pond was beautiful again, only this time it wasn’t hiding a bunch of dirt and debris at the bottom.

She made the connection. She might look good on the outside, but deep inside her heart,  a lot of dirt and debris had settled over time. Jesus had turned on the hose in her heart, filling her to overflowing with living water!

Amazed at the way He helped her understand, she thanked Him for the work He was doing. It might not look so good at the moment, she thought, but when He gets done, my heart will be clean and clear and truly beautiful!

OK, Lord, Let Me Have It!

She knew she deserved it. But she wasn’t looking forward to it. “How badly does God yell at someone anyway? As bad as my dad?” she wondered.  “God could get pretty rough with the Israelites.”

She thought back to what she had done earlier that day. God had told her not to share a particular book with a friend. But she thought she knew better and argued with Him. “She needs this message, Lord! I AM going to share it with her today at church!” But her friend hadn’t been at church. So God had won. And she felt really bad. Not just a sad or disappointed bad, but a distance-from-God kind of bad.

He was angry at her, she was sure. She could feel something unpleasant in her spirit. Probably Him scolding me, she thought. She tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. In fact, it grew stronger as the day progressed until she couldn’t avoid dealing with it anymore.

She took a deep breath, and prayed, “OK, Lord, I’m ready to listen. Let me have it.”

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His answer was not what she expected. Instead of the angry voice she was expecting, He spoke in a gentle whisper.

“I won’t ever ‘let you have it’. I will never scold you. But I will let you know when you’ve strayed. The feeling you got today was caused by your rebellion – not My scolding. I was not withholding My love. However, our connection was broken when you closed your ears. You didn’t want to listen so I had to get stronger until you couldn’t ignore Me any longer. I have promised to help you stay on the path, to not stray. So when you do, I will let you know. Others who have not given their lives so completely to Me – who have not given Me the permission you have – can sometimes wander a while before calling on Me. But you have given yourself to Me completely, and in return, I made you a promise. Do you want Me to change this?”

She was amazed at the sense of security that filled her with His words. She belonged to Him and He would always be there looking out for her. Even when she was the one to cause the problem.

“No, Lord. I don’t. I am completely Yours, whatever the cost. Thank You for Your promise, and for Your tight rein on me. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”