She opened her Bible and read Matt 16:24 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
She had heard many interpretations of what this cross might be. Chronic illness, death of a loved one, difficult people in your life… They all sounded reasonable, but something about them bothered her. And they didn’t really apply to her life at the moment. Did that mean she didn’t have a cross?
So she asked the Lord.
“Do I have a cross?”
” Well, I’m not sick. No one has died. And there are no difficult people in my life.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“So what is my cross?”
“The ability to understand.”
“I thought that was a good thing.”
“To a degree it is. But you want to know and understand every spiritual thing.”
“You’re not capable of understanding everything. You’re limited by your human brain. Besides, even if you could, it wouldn’t be wise. There are some things you cannot handle yet. And sometimes knowing too much would cause you to mess up what I’m doing. You would be tempted to take over instead of relying on Me.”
She thought about that for a few minutes.
“I can see how knowing everything could be a bad thing. It could feed my pride and I would be trusting my understanding instead of trusting You.”
“So how do I carry this cross?”
“Deny your desire to understand everything. Accept and enjoy what you know and don’t fret about what you don’t know. Learn to use the knowledge that you have. Trust Me for the rest. And relax. You’re not carrying this cross alone.”
“No one carries their cross alone. I promised to always be with you, in every part of your life, to care for you and help you. That includes carrying your cross.”
“Is the cross the same for everyone?”
“Oh no. Just as every person is different and unique, every cross is different and unique.”
“Wow. It’s amazing that you can help everyone at the same time in so many different ways. I can’t get my head wrapped around how big You are.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about!”
And she did.