Continuing the story begun in You Want to Be a What?, continued in Wrestling with God (continued from You Want to be a What?) and in Caught in the Middle, a Continuation
She listened in amazement, then frustration.
So, he’s under pressure about this priesthood thing? Really?
It had been several months since he informed her that he thought he was being called to be a priest.
She had spent those months rotating between hopeful trust in God, depression, and anger. It was affecting her whole life, and he was surprised to be feeling pressure?
“What kind of pressure?” she asked him.
“I don’t want to be a priest.”
“So don’t be one.”
“But what about the call I feel?”
“Then be one.”
And around and around they went. It was causing a strain on their relationship. She didn’t know how far to let him into her heart or how to look at him. Romantically? Platonically? She wished Jesus would hurry up and settle this, or help them to get past it and just enjoy their friendship.
Eventually she started sensing that he was pulling away from her, like he didn’t want to spend time with her anymore. He didn’t explain himself, or even acknowledge it, so she went once again to the Lord about it.
“Oh, Lord,” she called. “I have a question.”
“Why is he acting like he doesn’t want me around anymore?”
“He’s afraid of his feelings for you. He needs time to adjust. Give him time. Don’t become impatient with him. Keep loving him and he’ll be back.”
“Does this have anything to do with the seminary?”
“Yes. He’s afraid of leaving. He’s afraid that he might become too deeply involved with you to want to leave.”
That makes sense she thought. But she didn’t like it. What about her? What if she became too deeply involved and didn’t want him to leave? God had said he wasn’t going to be a priest. So maybe she should just do what He said – be patient and wait it out. Or maybe she had been hearing wrong all along and he really was going to become a priest. Maybe he was hearing from God and she was only hearing from herself.
She sighed. He had made one short trip to the seminary already, and another longer one was scheduled for the next summer. How in the world was she going to navigate these next six months?
to be continued…