Bella – Epilogue 

Bella spent many days visiting the lake. No matter how often or what time she arrived, she would find God there. And no matter how many questions she asked, He always answered them patiently. Some answers were clear and easy to understand, others were a bit vaguer.

“Why did You tell me You were Pastor Toby when I first met You?”

“If I had told you I was God, what would you have done?”

She thought a moment, then laughed. “I’d have run as fast and as far as I could to get away from You.”

“That’s why. I meet people where they are. I reveal only what they are ready to hear.”

“What is this place? This church that seems bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside?”

“Kind of like spiritual life. From the outside, life with Me often seems small and contained when actually it’s very much the opposite.”

Bella nodded with understanding.

“And why does Your back yard look so different to me than it did to that lady who saw a forest?”

“Because each of you have a totally unique relationship with Me. What you see and experience is based on who you are and how I made you.”

“OK, I can get that. What I can’t understand is how this place can be two things at once. Or more likely thousands of things at once.”

“I’m not bound by your laws of physics. I’m beyond any law.”

“But… thousands??”

“I’m big,” He said with a shrug. “Thousands is nothing to Me.”

“So if You’re that big, how can You take notice of something as small as me?”

“Because of all the things I’ve created, I love you the most.”

Bella smiled. Amazing, she thought, that this God could love her this much. Little did she know how much her God really did love her. That would be revealed to her at another time, when she was ready. For now, she was content to sit His presence, soaking up His love, and learning all she could each day.

IMG_20181005_154104240

The End

 

Bella stories:

I’m Not Hurt, Not Really Part 1 Part 2

Bella part 6   9  10  11 12  13   14  15   16

17

When You Pull Me Closer, I Come to Life

The words from one of TobyMac’s songs floated through her mind… “When you pull me closer, I come to life…”

“That is so true,” she thought.  “Spiritually, I’m easily lulled to sleep. But when God calls me, my spirit jumps and I do come alive.” Even though she could sometimes get into His presence through her own efforts, she knew ultimately she was totally dependent on God. Especially when she was as tired as she was now.

 

Later that day, as she gazed at her newborn granddaughter sleeping in her nursery bed, those words returned.  Turning to look at her daughter sitting in the chair next to her, she said, “It’s just like Ryn.”

“What is?” her daughter answered distractedly.

“That song… ‘when you pull me closer, I come to life’… that we heard earlier today. It’s just like Ryn. She lays sleeping in her bed but when you call her, she wakes up. And she’s totally dependent on you going to her because she can’t come to you. It’s the same with God. We are totally dependent on Him to come to us because we aren’t capable of going to Him. And when He calls us, we wake up. We come alive.”

“Yeah, OK,” mumbled her daughter, obviously impressed with her insight.

But that didn’t bother her. She had already turned back to the sleeping infant, enjoying her smallest moves and sounds – while God lovingly enjoyed all three of them.

IMG_20180623_035326317

The War Within

I wish sometimes she would just shut up and let me have what I want without making me feel guilty about it. I’m talking about that inner voice, the one that puts a damper on everything.

All I wanted was some of those sugar crusted spice drops.  I could just taste the sparkly sugar dissolving in my mouth…  Or that buttered popcorn, dripping with golden deliciousness…

But then the voice. “You don’t need it.”

Fine. I don’t need it. But I definitely want it.

“Your body doesn’t need it. Let it go. Fill your hunger with something healthier.”

Now my choices are to heed or to ignore the voice. Either way I will live with a regret. IMG_20180503_103424152Either momentary regret passing up something delightful to my senses, or lasting regret living with the effect it has in my body.  I’d love to say I had the discipline and maturity to choose the latter each time, but I don’t. There’s a battle between my inner child and my inner adult, and it’s evident when you look at my body, that my inner adult doesn’t always win.

The same holds true in the spiritual world…

That gossip sure sounds enticing. Just the thought of staying abreast of people’s lives and being in the know… Or that computer game that I just might beat with a little more time…

“You don’t need it.”

Sure, I don’t need to do either. But I want to.

“Your spirit doesn’t need it. Let it go. Fill your time with something healthier.”

The choices remain the same: heed or ignore the voice. The consequences also remain the same. Momentary regret or lasting regret. I’d love to say that I had the spiritual maturity and discipline to win these battles, but just like in the physical world, I don’t. In fact, I find winning these battles harder because it’s way easier to live with a fat, sluggish spirit than it is to live with a fat, sluggish body. No one can see it so it’s easy to hide it and even live in denial.

Why not end the war and just do what I want? After all, it’s not a salvation issue.

Maybe not, but it’s definitely a health issue.

Being healthy provides a higher quality of life than being unhealthy. I feel better when I’m healthy. I can be more active when I’m healthy. I can better enjoy interactions with my family and friends when I’m healthy.

Again the same is true with my spirit. Being spiritually healthy provides a higher quality of spiritual life than being unhealthy. I feel better and can be more active for God when I’m spiritually healthy. I can have more fun following God’s lead as I interact with people when I’m spiritually healthy.

So… maybe I don’t want that inner voice to shut up after all.

 

 

 

Relevant Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 10:23 Amplified Bible (AMP)  All things are lawful [that is, morally legitimate, permissible], but not all things are beneficial or advantageous. All things are lawful, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].

1 Tim 4:7b Amplified Bible (AMP)  … discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness (keeping yourself spiritually fit).

Romans 7:23 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)   I see a different standard at work throughout my body. It is at war with the standards my mind sets and tries to take me captive to sin’s standards which still exist throughout my body.